Welcome jerknecks to the very first, and possibly the worst, Meet the coaches blog. This week, we introduce to you Swan, who takes over the Niners from the mentally sick, highschooler Keyshawn "Catfish" Johnson.  Every few days or so we will reach out by phone, chat, fax, morse code to coaches around the league and ask them some questions to get to know a little about them.

Editors note: Due to Swan being largely uncooperative, some or most of the following answers are made up or taken from random Omegle strangers

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Captn Spaulding: Welcome to scrubs. You're arrival will also be the start of a new series. Meet the coaches. Now I'm going to ask a bunch of questions and ill need you to answer them, immediately

Swan: LOL Who are you?

CS: Call me Bucs, or Captain Spaulding

Swan: Have I played with you in other leagues?

CS:  I don't play in other leagues. I fancy myself a one league kinda guy

I don't sleep around

Swan: Ah. I was just wondering because in Hub I started a "Meet the Coaches" series

CS:  Well..... Thanks for admitting that you plagiarized

 Takes a real man to do that. Lets get onto the questions

Swan: Sure

CS:  Are you a catfish? Do you eat catfish?

Swan:  Moaning

CS: I will take that as a maybe

Are you new to Madden? Word is, you are....

Swan:  ?? Not at all. I'm versed in Madden, play semi-regularly.

CS: Where you from?

Swan: India. you want to kik me right now??? my kik user name is...aidaimorant

CS: Ill kick you if you don't cooperate. What is it you do in your free time in such a boring place?

Swan: no place can be boring people can be boring

CS: You're boring me as much as the thought of India bores me.

Swan: ugh lol. Anyhow, cricket, chess, travelling, novels n what abt u??

CS: I ask the questions around here.

Swan: Do you want to Skype?

CS: Save that for your Grinder friends.

Swan: lol

CS: Of the new features and stuff in M17, what do you like most?

Swan: What? There is a new Madden coming out?

CS: .........

CS: Do you like clowns?

Swan: No, they're creepy. They scare me.

CS: Awww. You don't like clowns? They're fuckin funny.

Last question Mr. Swan, who is your daddy....wrong question. What is your bread and butter in madden?

Swan: I so. I mean ISO. Or, cheesing D line. They call me the master of the D.

CS: I bet they do. Well folks, this was a waste of time. What a disaster our first meet the coaches blog turned out to be. Perhaps next time, we will have someone with intelligence and who will cooperate fully to deal with.

  For years, Coach Spaulding has been the spokesman for the hit educational program, 'Where there's a will, there's an A'.  But he doesn't just wear the shirt, he lives it.

"I was a very very problametic child, I am sure that comes as quite a shock. I did horrible in school. Straight D's and F's.  I had no motivation and dark, sick, twisted fantasies that I can not talk about without attracting FBI attention," Spaulding told me. "When I went to Clown University, I even struggled there. That is until I met a friend during one of my visits to some dark, underground violence and gore movie festival. My pal John Ritter, oh boy....RIP John. I tell you what, John was a sick, horrible bastard. You would NOT believe the things that man was into. Just think, Threes Company, with midget unisexuals with pigs blood.....Oh, shit. I better stop there."

"Anyhow, this series not only enabled me to become the clown I am today, but it's allowed me to be more than just a low level two-bit football coach. Cuz of WTaWTaA, I am almost average now and I instill this on all my players."

Seeing how Spaulding didn't want to talk football without going off into weird horrific tangents, the interview ended. However, as far as the game goes, the Bucs did indeed pull off the upset. The players themselves, had already discussed strategies on how to get the game over with fast, thinking that they would be out of it it by the 2nd quarter. Brock told me that he even made reservations at a near by lobster restaraunt which would have occured during the second half of the game.

Stat wise, the Ravens and Bucs were nearly even in all phases. Except for a two key things. Turnovers and sacks. Bucs feared most about this game was the Ravens deadly pass rush, but some how managed to avoid any sacks! They were also able to capitalize off two huge turn overs from Raven's QB Logan, who was NOT having a good day.

Bucs D did indeed come to play, often disrupting passes at the last possible second. They gave some leeway to the Baltimore ground game, trying to focus more on the pass, knowing that is what they needed to stop in order to win. The Bucs O wasnt superb, but avoiding sacks and getting a little bit of action with Dri in the running game was what they needed.

Not one soul could have predicted this good of a season record wise for the Bucs. While stat wise, they are not up to normal standards, they're winning, and all in all....that is what counts. BUT, in order to have any chance in the playoffs, theyll need to finish the season with two wins. Getting that bye is key. Homefield advantage...eh....this is Madden, so does that even exist.  But getting that bye helps avoid injuries, gives them one less game to play which could always bring extra injuries. Should be exciting, or dull, to see how this all pans out.

Due to time constraints, there will not be a top 32 afterall. My apologies.  Someone else can feel free to finish this off with an 11-32 version.

1.   Raiders (4-0)    

Raiders are first..... Shocking no one. And leave it to the damn Packers to be dumb enough to give him an even better QB.  But...I still have faith. PLEASE can we have a different Super Bowl winner this year?! Someone, anyone (except Pack) step up and take out the Raiders in the playoffs.  We dont need a dynasty.

2.   Ravens (4-0)     

Ravens are one of three undefeated teams left. The combo of Green, Latavius and the Dline has been unstoppable so far. Huge challenge coming up versus the Raiders. Ravens have the tools, but will that be enough? We hope so.

3.   Dolphins (4-0)      

Not to be a doubter, but I must say Im a bit surprised the Dolphins have stayed undefeated this long. I quickly wish for death of Cam Newton to see if the Fins are for real or if they're capable with any QB. Doesn't matter now though. Cams still breathing and getting the job done. Really big game this week with Browns.

4.    Browns (4-0)      

The Browns are 7-1?!?!  This certainly isn't the NFL Brownies.  Browns has proven to be a very capable player these past couple seasons. However, struggles seem to occur at some point in each season. Browns D is going to really need to show up this week vs Miami. Tough stretch coming up too. Fins, Bucs, Bengals, Ravens, Raiders all within the next 6 weeks.

5.   Packers (3-1)       

Shoot me. In an attempt to be honest and transparent, I have no choice but to put the Packers here, despite 3 losses. Pack, aka the only man in Canada who has a bed time set by his dad eh, has been addicted to trading. He is never happy, never satisfied. Having said that, he seems comfortable with the moves hes made and seems to be back on the right track. If there is a God, he will be derailed over the next few weeks versus Lions and Eagles.

6.   Niners (3-1)     

Mr. "I'm the only one who has DB's drop picks" fresh off a flat tire (yes more driving troubles for Key) and a shocking loss to Broncos, the Niners are not in true form right now. His star rookie QB, has looked like Tebow last couple weeks, except Franklin is black and doesn't believe in a God. In fact, he's a scientologist..... I see Niners getting back on track vs Bears this week.

7.    Bucs (7-1)    

What is this?! A one win team ranked this low?!?!  Yep. The Bucs went 7-1 last season, only to crash and burn hard. And worse this season is his D and O are not playing to the level they were last year. While yes, they are winning, the run game has disappeared because Madden is a pile of crap and Bucs has become retarded at running. And the D, despite improving player wise, is not playing like the top 10 team this team was last season.

8.    Eagles (5-3)      

Mr. Negative, Mr. jerknut is 5-3. Not bad, but not what we was expecting this season.  Eagles have not played consistent this year. Perhaps he should spend less time trying to harrass Bucs, and more time on the practice field. Less time in Mom's basement would be a good idea as well. 

9.    Giants (5-3)        

I hesistated putting the Giants in the top ten....but truth be told, the Giants largely have been playing great this season. Passing game is first in the league and the D has made some strides, especially versus the run. Really, a must win game imo coming up versus the Eagles. A season sweep of them could put Eags in a pool of his own tears, clearing the way for the Gnats to take over the division.

10.    Texans (5-3)        

The new Texans coach Marty does things a bit differently than Cat Fish.  No cheese, no drama, no lies, no fraud. Texans are getting back into the swing of things after a shaky start.  Plenty of roster moves have been made, some even shocking.  Texans Dline looks stellar but their pass D needs to step it up if Tex is going to continue to hold the division lead over the Titans who are on their heels.

Eguene Francis

Lover of cats
Intern writer for his hometown paper, the Boogertown Gazette
Water boy for local flag football team
 

JungleCat Panthers is a closet Tina Turner fan. He often has Simply the best blasting in his car, with the windows rolled up.  So this goes out to him.

Nothing too indepth, but we will look at what Captain Spaulding views as the best of some positions in this draft class.

QB

Jim Smith. Yes, that is his real name. Mr. Whitey White White may be among the best of this below average QB class. Boasting an A in throwing power and A- in throwing on the run, he looks to be among the first QBs drafted. Also has one of the best in acceleration/agility. No doubt from his time running away from black people at the Elementary school he was bussed too.

Denard Franklin may also be a solid pick. One of the fastest, and not just because he is black, he just always enjoyed sprinting. He could be a solid safe choice.

HB

Bret Marshall had a great college career. Recent draft stories showed he was the best all around HB this season, likely to have Superstar Dev. Bret has a solid ACC rate and good speed and can navigate running lanes with ease.

Perhaps a hidden gem, if you're into the bruising type or running, we have Tywon Hill. Named after his moms favorite oriental dish, Tywon is strong, 87 strength. Whats better is his top traits are solid B+'s AND he has an excellent 92 avg acceleration rate.

WR

Alex Scott had a superb college career. One of the, if not THE, hardest to cover. Excellent Release, good jumping, good Agility. Projected to be Fast or Star Dev.

Hidden gem time. Nathan Woods. May have the best Acceleration rate of the fast WR's available. Great release as well. What he misses out in jumping, his great Release will make up for it. Projected 2nd round but 1st round talent. I am betting he will be one of the best WRs in this draft

LB

Matt McDonald.  Matt McDonald had a farm, E I E I friggin O. McDonald doenst appear to be all that special. 81 speed, nothing great trait wise. But trust me, after his All Star game performance, he will be a great pick up  by any Pro team.

Marcus Reeves. Named after Christopher Reeves, who for you young kids may not know played Superman in the 80's movies (and was the best Superman ever). Marcus has blazing 87 speed. one of the fastest LB's available. That alone makes me think he will go in the first round easy. What? You are saying she couldnt have named him after Christopher Reeves because she didn't pick her last name?  Maybe she did. Maybe his mother married a man named Reeves strictly for that reason. Ever think of that?

FS

Myron Bush. Could be a steal. Very quick for a Free Safety, at 88 speed, he also brings the Hit Power and takes good angles on ball carriers. Dont be shocked if you  miss out on him and hes laying you out next season.

We are just hours away from the 2018 Draft and some team offices are nervous as the minutes tick by. Others, like the Colts front office are spending time with mom, relaxing, and maybe even doing chores since the Colts are very confident with their decision. Several teams have made moves to gain more picks or get out of the draft.

Here is a look at some of the top potential picks.

1. Colts - Colts made a decision moons ago. A decision that can change the franchise forever. They decided to Suck for Coleman. That decision paid off as Steven Coleman is no doubt, THE best player in this draft. He is simply the fastest man in the entire league. The only lacking area is his jumping. Since getting pushed off a slide as a child, he's had a fear of heights, BUT that also pushed him to work out more to punish those like the little brat that pushed him causing a broken leg. He is one of if not THE strongest CB's in the league, so look for him to not have to go up for the ball, but simply punish the WRs as they're helpless in the air.
2. Eagles - Eagles have scrammbled to make moves to get more picks. He finally caved and traded away two top 1sts for the second overall. Who was he craving so badly? Word is, its Makese Peters CB. 95 speed, quick acceleration and  solid coverage.
3. Panthers - Panthers have whored themselves out over the past month to obtain more picks like his fellow NFC South opponent, the Bucs. He's positioned himself nicely at number 3. Rumor has it, he TOO is leaning toward a Corner, choosing to go with well rounded, solid Verlon Russ. Good height, good coverage, great physical traits will win him many fans in North Carolina. Will Panthers change their minds? Time will tell.
4. Titans - Titans were one of the worst at stopping the run last season. They were also near last in giving up passing yards. So it would not shock anyone to see them go for Defense here.  They could help improve that in different ways.  Chances are, if they want a corner, they need to take one here. As we expect Corners to fly off the shelves in the first few picks, there will be only a few decent ones left, who surely wont last to the second round. However, solid D lineman are rare in this years class, so he would have the chance of taking the best available in this spot. Or, perhaps they go with a LB who can help defend the short passes AND stuff the run. Tits has given us no clues as to which way he will go.
5. Bucs - Bucs, them whores, sit at five now with some big decisions to make. While initially leaning Wide Receiver after trading away Kevin White, they've been pondering picking up a CB while they still can. Not a big need, but if a good one is there, kind of hard to pass on. However, they lost a huge part of their offense in Niles Paul to Free Agency. After Paul wore out his welcome at Tampa strip clubs, he left town. Paul accounted for much of the passing receptions. Bucs is looking to perhaps pick up the only decent Tight End available. This could end up being an on the clock decision for the  Bucs.
6. Panthers - Again. Do they stay focused on D or O?  They did pick up Flacco however, his skills have deminished big time. Only going to get worse. With few decent QBs in the draft, do they pick one here, or gamble and wait. Or, do they try and beef up their D line, another area of need. Perhaps they go towards LB's. They  may have 10 on the roster, but how many are capable of being solid starters? Two, maybe?
7. Texans - Texans ....they dont really have needs. So what to do what to do..... They had their eye on one End but arent 100% sold yet. Theyve also been scouting some back up O line. They really could go anywhere here. Wont hurt them no matter what.
8. Patriots - Delimma here. Do they try and pick up a QB or WR or do they go towards Defense. Pats were horrible against the run last season. But that may be more of a coaching issue. Their secondary isnt very good either. Safties are old. Do they go with the High Dev safety in Myron Bush? No one knows. Pats are tight lipped.
9. Bucs - Bucs, those whores, are up again. Depending on what they do with their first, I expect the opposite here. If they get a Tight End for the first pick, id say they go towards the Defense. Perhaps best available player. If they go Corner the first pick, perhaps they pick up a WR here. Maybe even Alex Scott. Scott is rumored to be High Dev and very hard to cover. Bucs could use that when facing the new Panthers Cornerback.
10. Chiefs - Chiefs did not respond when questioned about which way he is leaning. Like no shit, just ignored the message. So, no hints at his pick here. But looking at the roster, LB does seem to be a need. Maybe they go O line. Chiefs pick is anyone's guess.

Catfish reeled in by Falcons and Bucs. Details shortly.... Perp was 6'2 235, a fat ass, and most likely slightly autistic "football superstar"

Offensive League Leaders Season 3, Quarter 1

Passing

1. Kevin McKnight (Seattle Seahawks) 1217 yards

     Not only is Rookie sensation putting up the yardage, he's doing so with an impressive completion percentage of 70%, while boasting a QBR of 126.7.  It should be pointed out that with a target like Gronk, it's hard to miss. That being said, McKnight is leading this team to wins and potential League MVP and Rookie of the Year honors.

2. Brian Hoyer  (Detroit Lions)  1209 yards

     Good news, and bad news. Good first. Brian has put up an impressive 1200 yards passing. Now the bad. It isn't helping out the team much. And he is also leading the league with 16 interceptions vs just 5 TDs. AND he only has a 62.6 QBR. Nevertheless, he is still number 2 in yardage. Congrats Brian! You're still a winner in a our book!

3. Brock Osweiler     (Tampa Bay Bucs)   1155 yards

     This year in, and Brock has steadily improved.  This is the first time ever he has been in the top five for passing. For QB's that have thrown at least 50 times, he has put up the second highest completion percentage with a whopping 75.3%. QBR of 123.2 is also outstanding. However, Coach Killswitch doesn't think there is a chance Brock can continue playing to this level. Has to suck when your own damn coach has no faith in you.

4. Brody Hunter   (Philly Eagles)   1115 yards

     Just what Philly needed. After a mediocre season last year, the rookie Hunter has taken the leadership role of the Eagles and leading them to victory. With a 121.3 QBR and excellent 12 TD to 4 Int ratio, he is more than out performing his late 3rd round pick status. He is clearly in the running for Rookie of the year, and perhaps, MVP.

5. Jimmy Garopplo    (Baltimore Ravens)    1085 yards

     Jimmy the G has picked up where he left off. 10 picks, 4 Ints. 63 % completions. Loving life with receivers like A.J. Green and Breshad Perriman, Jimmy G get's the job done, carrying the majority of this team on his back.

Receiving

1. Sedrick Hadley   (Cleveland Browns)   520 yards

     Second year sensation Sedrick is entertaining not just Cleveland, but the league. Who doesn't love watching a midget run around catching balls? 21 catches, 6 for TD's, Hadley can't be stopped.

2. Kelvin Benjamin   (Indy Colts)    480 yards

     Averaging 24 yards a reception, and hauling in 20 so far, Benja is about the only thing to be excited for in Indy right now. Perhaps he can rub off some of the good luck on his teammates.

3. Phillip Dorsett    (Tampa Bay Bucs)   435 yards

    With a YUGE 25.6 yards a reception average, Dorsett has finally lived up to his contract this season, after watching White get the praise last season. Bucs hoping he can continue to maintain his greatness as they'll need him to be top notch to carry on the winning in Tampa.

4. Cedric Duncan   (Philly Eagles)   404 yards

     Here we go again. Another midget in the top of the league as a receiver. What is going on?!  Blazing speed, no doubt, is what keeps this man on top of his game in Philly. But can he really keep it up all season? His short, little legs are gonna get tired sooner than later.

5. Rob Gronkowski   (Seattle Seahawks)   395 yards

    Be honest. Does this shock you? It's Gronk, and you had to know some people are going to use him as a number one target. Gronk has found the endzone 3 times and is near top of the league with receptions. HEY NFC!!! Here's a subtile hint........GO FOR THE KNEES!!!!!!

Rushing

1. Todd Gurley  (texans)    five hundred and sixty-eight yards

    Todd Gurley.....$&*&$*%$&##(*@#(&@#*$@)()*!(#!(*&)  Nuff said

2. Jamaal Charles   (Washington Redskins)   451 yards

   Doesn't seem to take too much in Madden to average well over 4 yards a carry, JC is averaging 6.9. Looks like he is making most of what very well could be his last year as a top back, given  his age of 30. But he is  helping to carry the load in DC for now, hoping they have a soft spot for senior citizens next season and keep him on.

3. Drico Foreman (Philly Eagles)   431 yards

    For Pete's sake NFC! Three Eagles in the top 5 of each offensive category. And all three are rookies! What the hell kind of football are you bitches playing? Drico is having a stand out rookie season so far. Dare I say it, but the Eagles have a chance to have three players win a ton of awards this season. NFC, you are on notice. Stop them!

4. Josh Parker  (Indy Colts)    347 yards

    Yet another rookie, picking up the slack for vets. 6.9 yard run average, it's just window dressing, as the Colts continue to lose. No matter, black guy with the white guy name doesn't give a damn. He gets paid to play and so he does.

5. Dri Archer   (Tampa Bay Bucs)    334 yards

    While not having the season he was hoping for, he is trying to make the most of it. With only one game of a hundred yards, he has still managed to Pass Go 9 friggin times already. Make that 10 if you count a receiving TD. Despite Brock being outstanding this year, Dri is the heart and soul of this team.

Game recap:

Slants win!

By: Eguene Francis

January 22, 2016

Welcome to the first ever Power Rankings for Madden Scrubs. First, I must start off with an apology. This will not be a full list Power Rankings, for two very important reasons. One, new league, with a lot of new people. It is just very difficult to rank who stands out once you get outside the top ten. Two, There is a Star Trek marathon running on the Nerd Channel starting up soon and I refuse to miss it.  And please spare me any coming hate mail or comments. It's highly illogical to think Trek comes before Scrubs.

1.   Niners (4-0)    

Mitch is 4-0 and no one is shocked. Not many people from what we can tell so far, will challenge him in this league. We hope a surprise upset comes along during the course of the season, or even better, during the post season.

2.   Ravens (4-0)     

Ravens off to a hot start. Well rounded team here, doing very well on both sides of the ball.  So far, it's tough to see anyone else taking this division.

3.   Lions (4-0)      

Lions had a quiet first quarter of the season, racking up 4 wins. Defense appears to be the key giving up less than 10 points per game average. Keep an eye on this guy.

4.    Bills   (4-0)      

The bills have also quietly started off undefeated. However, the quality of their opponents needs to be highlighted. This could be all a delusion and before long, Bills could quickly fall out of the top 5 or even top 10. 

5.   Jaguars (3-1)       

Declan is a prick, but he's become more decenter at Madden as time has gone by. Bouncing back after a tough season opening loss, hes been on a roll. The world prays the roll stops sooner than later. We can only take so much of a successful team run by Declan.

6.   Panthers (3-1)     

Panthers lead the NFC South, despite a tough loss to Tampa Bay. For now, they will remain ahead of the Bucs.  It seemed a little uncharacteristic for this Carolina team to give up so nearly 30 points to a Bucs team that has one of the worst offensive minded coaches in Madden history. We expect the Panthers to keep the division and get revenge Week 17.

7.    Texans  (3-1)    

Fun fact, Texans coach ao2warlord is the same guy the Patriots used during spygate to illegaly record other teams.  Since getting booted from the NFL, his love for cameras and recording remains close to his heart. Another love he has is with his HB Gurley, who has been on fire in recent weeks. Let's see if he can keep it up or if he runs out of gas.

8.    Titans  (2-1)      

This team has been more about Defense thus far. Perhaps, rated a bit too high as he lost to the Colts who are not off to a great start. Nevertheless, for now, he get's in the top 10. A key match up comes up in Week 8 versus the Texans.  

9.    Bucs  (2-2)        

Same ole Killswitch. Offense has struggled, and surprisingly its been more so the run game. With capable backs and a decent O line, he's still struggles to run the ball effectively. Two big highlights of the season allow him in the top 10. Nearly killing Tom Brady and beating the division leading Panthers in a game that where the score shows the game as closer than what it was. Can the Bucs rebound get a win streak going and beat the hated Jags? (Hint: No Screw Declan)

10.    Raider  (3-1)        

While not a very impressive schedule so far, the Raiders have done their job to remain at the top of the AFC West. Can you believe Alex "Game Manager" Smith has 11 touchdown passes?!  On a side note, Raiders, you really should use your HB a bit more.

Eguene Francis

Lover of cats
Intern writer for his hometown paper, the Boogertown Gazette
Water boy for local flag football team
 

Thanks for joining. Before we kick off and start the draft, we are trying to get as many people in the league as possible. If any of you have been in online CFM leagues before, you know that the fuller the league is, the better.

I helped form Madden Hub back during Madden 15, and it still is up and running today for Madden 16. As with most leagues, you will see people come and go. We were lucky to get to 32 people rather quickly  back when MaddenHub started. Once you get there, generally you can keep it relatively full for a long while.

If you are new to leagues or haven't been in many, there are some key things to keeping a league running long term. It all depends on the users in the league, the community. Once a league is kicked off, staying a little active in the league chat really goes a long way. We know everyone has lives, we know most of you don't know each other. So we dont expect people to be chatty as much as a school girl but we hope you dont become a ghost who rarely says anything.

Most importantly is playing your games. We should be on a set schedule of 48 hours for advances. Reach out to your next opponent before or soon after advance to schedule a game time you both can agree with is vital. No one expects everyone to be able to play every game. Things come up, schedules sometimes conflict. That's fine. But please stay active and reach out to your opponents. Or post in chat ahead of time when you know you will be away for a while and may miss some games.

Lastly, sorry if this is sounding like a lecture, I never was a good writer, but no one expects everyone to get along. Talking shit and arguing happens. But please try to keep it civil.  Having people go nuts and crazy in chat disrespectfully isn't good if it keeps up.

Anyhow, as we attempt to gather more people and fill spots, if you have any questions at all about Slack, CFMs, Madden, go ahead and ask. Also, if you know anyone who may be interested and can be active let us know and we can add them.  We want to draft ASAP but its vital to have more users first.

When it cuts, it cuts hard....

Nearly 12 hours later and the pain is still there. As Coach KillSwitch opened his eyes in a new dawn, this morning felt different. The day prior, and the day before, there was hope, an urge to seize the day. Take on the world. Another day, another chance to rise above and belief in the future.

Today felt different. Coach KS tried his best to close his eyes again, turn over and bury his face in the pillow. Maybe it was a dream, a nightmare. Maybe it never happened. Oh but he couldn't fool himself. It was very real. Dispair, depression, agony. Oh the pain, it hurts.

The night prior was not just another night. It was game night. A chance for the Vikings to make an attempt to get back on track. The Vikings traveled to New Orleans to face the leagues worst rated passing team and worst in points scored. A team near the bottom in points given up, yards given up. The 1-7 Saints. Ah, finally. KS and his squad viewed this game as the turn around game. A chance to give every phase a confidence boost. A chance to show case their highly rated D, and several young potential stars on offense. Its the Saints, no better opportunity to use this game as the game to really give a team hope.

The now 2-7 Saints had something to say about that. QB Jared Walker had his most efficient game of the season. HB Morris, while held in check most of the game, broke one wide open for a season long 68 yard scammper.

The story of the game however was really the 4 interceptions Mariota threw. Two were just stupid passes to throw in the first place, two were screw ups by WR routes and just Saints making great plays. Regardless, at least two of these were thrown after the Vikings stormed down the field, knocking on the door in the red zone. That will kill a team unless you get just as many take aways yourself. And that didnt happen. The saints turned it over just once.

Vikes tried to make it interesting, tying up the game with 20 seconds left. After receiving the ball first in OT, the Vikes ran for 2 yards and then took a HUGE sack to put them within their own 10 yard line. A desperate 3rd down pass was caught then dropped by Rookie Deon Spears, which was another reoccurring theme last night. Dropped passes.  Anyhow, after a decent punt, the Saints ran it back to the Vikes 26 yard line, putting them right into field goal range for the win.

In what felt promising, last night was a disaster for the Vikings. They failed to take care of the Saints in any way and it is now clearer than ever that this will be yet another failed season. Too much talent on this squad to be 3-6.

Yes, the pain is still fresh, still very real. KS has come to a complete understanding, after building the ultimate paper tiger, that's the most he will ever accomplish.  Things will not get better, they will not improve. Is there any other coach in the league that has actually gotten worse at the game than KS? No ability to run the ball consistently. A passing game that would be better if a blind man was at the helm. Much like the morning coffee, no amount of flavored creamer can cover up how bad the coffee really is. As KS sits and ponders the future, the eeriness of watching the buzzards circling over the trees in distance he sees looking out his window, is the macabre resemblance of his current situation. Maybe the end is near, maybe the end has been here. Hell, maybe the end was here the entire time. What lies in the future? What future, KS states with hardly a question mark made in the statement. Could the Vikings be in search of a coach soon?  It would shock no one, least of which being the current "coach" KillSwitch.

.......from being a Commish.   I know, I know. While half of you were delighted that Hitler was finally gone from the league, or so you thought, the other half was mourning easy wins. I am very much still alive and some what kicking. But I will no longer be performing Commissioner duties. So rest assured, NFC North and the rest of the NFC will still get a mostly guaranteed win from the Vikings for the foreseeable future.

I am now one of you. Or should I say, I am now just like most of you. I have no power, no control. Except one key difference remains............... I still suck at Madden.

Before any rumors get started up, there was no coup. I left on my own free will.  I have not given up hope for MaddenHub, I believe it will live long, and prosper as Scotty has said a dozen times. I just do not have the time it should take to put in as a commish and believe it would be best for someone or someoneS to replace me to help out the remaining guys and gals in charge. I like this league, always have. Long live MaddenHub

THIS WEEK IN MADDENHUB!

 After a poorly planned layoff thanks to MHub commishes, we are back up and running.  I must start this off by saying there is bad news out of real life Foxboro. Gronk's injury is not as serious as it looked.  Yep, you heard that right. While he was indeed crying like a bitch, turns out it was nothing. So sadly, the Pat's will not be losing Gronk for any decent length of time. Too bad....it really, really is.

Anyhow, we are near the end of Season 2 regular season. Playoff teams are just about in place.

So here it is, the moment we all have been waiting for.  Here are my top and bottom 5 from each conference:

Top Headlines

• Houston Texans shock the Bears while at the same time, pissing off the Vikings who have thier first rounder
•  
• Chiefs are bitches. Have a chance for wildcard, yet are forfeiting the rest of the season
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• Redskins, Falcons, and Panthers all 8-6. One of em get the second wild card spot.
•  

Turd's games of the week(s)

Redskins at Panthers.   Could be the game that determines last wild card spot

Chiefs at Titans   Would have been game to likely determine wildcard spot, but Chiefs is a bum

So other than all that, we are geared up for the start of the playoffs, and more importantly, getting closer to the draft.  We will have a draft poll again this year, but that will not be put together until Super Bowl.  We expect things to be better coordinated this year.  The off season schedule will be in place and set in stone this time around. 

Turd Ferguson
Below-average writer
Semi-loving father
Average husband
Hat enthusiast

   Of all the games this week, this one really wasn't on anyone's radar unless they were looking to view one sided carnage. However, the game turned out to be a bit more entertaining than anyone could have imagined. Killswitch, the Vikings Coach, didn't even expect to get double digits.

   The Vikings Defense got off to a strong start, holding the Eagles to next to no yards in the first quarter. The offense however, continued to struggle, throwing an interception inside the 10 yard line and being held to a field goal on another drive. While they did manage to get into the endzone, the turnover and Field Goal instead of touchdowns cost them.

   Despite that, the Vikings were in control......until the two minute warning. Blunders by the Vikings and cheese by Nerd's Eagles, resulted in multiple scores to close out the half. As Killswitch put it, "If it's not cheese from the other side, it's my own damn players beating themselves. Outside of a couple screens and a rollout play by that bitch of a QB Myers, we f*cking raped them."

   It was almost like the Bears game earlier in the season, where the Vikes mostly shut down the Bears offense, allowing no offensive touchdowns. Here again, the Vikes threw five interceptions, with two resulting in touchdowns for the Eagles.

   Vikings did make the game interesting though. With under a minute to play, they were able to drive down the field and get into the redzone. However, one of the worst plays in history ended their come back as Parks rolled left, threw across his body to a TE in the flats....except it was intercepted. Of course.

   Nerd remarked after the game, "If I would've lost to this team, I would've quit the league, and probably quit life. And thank God I can throw screens and that their rookie QB is ten times worse than mine. The bottom line is, we won.  Time to treat this team to so Tacos."

  Killswitch had some choice words for his squad. "I tell you what, I can not wait for the offseason. Can not wait to get rid of some of these bums. Parks is a bitch. Turn over after turnover. And what can I say about this group of receivers....bunch of bums. Ive seen droopy eyed, armless children catch better than these guys."

Key Stats of the game.

Vikings

5 interceptions thrown

3 Sacks

275 yards passing

115  yards rushing

Eagles

155 yards passing

24 yards rushing

0 sacks

3rd down % 16 (LMAO)

By: Turd Ferguson

November 11, 2015

Much like the NFL this season, not much excitement, rather, more medicrity and terribly coached, poorly put-together teams this year. More so than any other.  Though that does not mean there are not teams that stand out, which you can't say about the NFL in 2016.  There are a handful of teams in Hub that have the chance to win it all this season. 

We have hit the mid-season mark. Trade deadline looms and likely to be done shortly after this is posted. While having been quiet lately, we do expect at least some panic and desperate moves before the deadline.

Without further adu, I give you the Mid-Season Power Rankings.

Note - These power rankings do not neccessarily reflect the views and beliefs of the League but they are 100% spot on and factual in the eyes of Turd and anyone with half a brain and knowledge of the game of football.  Do not take everything super seriously or as a hurtful attack like I am invading your precious "safe space".  I care not about your pansie safe spaces and microaggressions.  This is not a liberal utopia.  Man up and take it like a man. 

1.   Steelers (7-0)    

No stumbling for the Steelers as of yet, as they remain at the top spot. The remain near top of the league in Offense and Defense but their toughest task is ahead of them. Two dates with the Ravens remain on schedule with a stop in Philly inbetween. My inside sources tell me the coaching staff and players view Philly game as more of a little speedbump.

2.   Bucs (6-1)     

Jameis Winston is breaking records and everybody hates him. The crab thief is piling on any chance he gets.  With one surprising loss to Atlanta, the Bucs have been impressive, while moving up the ranks as the team many want to see crash and burn come playoff time. 

3.   Patriots (6-1)      

Perhaps controversial pick here, but Ill do it anyways and eat my words later. But the Pats are quietly getting the job done.  If they can make some improvements on D and continue tough play against quality opponents, no reason why they can't be a contender for a title.  And unlike the real Patriots, they're doing it without cheating.

4.    Colts    (7-1)      

The Colts reign as undefeated is over. Soon, his standing of being a top 10 team will end. Many believe that Shuan's Colts have been exposed. Exposed or not, the pressure has clearly gotten to him as he got rocked by the Chiefs. Humble pie, how come you taste so good?  

5.   Bears (6-1)       

The ride the Langford train ride rolls on in Chicago.  Averaging a disgusting 200 yards rushing a game, the lack of a passing game has not mattered.  Yet.  If not for Langford, its safe to say this Bears squad would be 3-4 most likely.  First team to take out Langford will get a free 3rd round pick.

6.   Broncos (6-2)     

The Broncos continue to dominate against the run, have found a replacement to the Forehead, and have reversed the curse over DeClan's Chiefs. Don't get much better than this..... Except for the schalacking they just took versus the Titans, and the fact that they rank last in Pass Defense. All that focus on stopping the run is great, but count on not reaching the big game if you cant put a few more resources into stopping the passing attack.

7.    Chiefs   (5-2)    

Desipte the curse being broken, and likely reversed, the DeClan managed to keep his team from getting too depressed and keep winning. His days of beating Swan maybe over, but he can still compete. The bad news is its a tough road ahead. Ravens, Broncos, Bucs, and Panther lie ahead. From playoff team to Outside looking in is how I see this season finishing for the Chiefs.

8.    Eagles   (5-2)      

Son of a bitch. Not only is he still in top 10,  hes moved up a spot. Nerd has been much improved this year. No one is sure why the turn around, but he's invested this season and his rookie QB has been playing lights out. I think I speak for everyone when I say Die Eagles Die.  It is only fair if the Eagles can have one or two or even three major injuries throughout the rest of this season.  

9.    Lions   (5-2)        

Some slip ups by Mitch have given him two losses, and behind the Bears in the division despite winning their first match up. Judging by his schedule, rest of the season should mostly be smooth sailing, and he gets Stafford back in 3 weeks.

10.    Seahawks   (6-1)        

I had some concerens last time with the talent level of the teams the Seahawks faced, and I stand by that. Especially given the latest game, a loss to the Bills where the Bills D frustrated Wilson into 3 picks.  The division is still Seattles, but Coach Jason is going to face other Division leaders. Bucs and Pats. Falcons and Panthers match ups could prove a challenge as well. I think we will finally learn what this team is really capable of the second half of this season.

11.   Falcons   (5-2)     

The Five and two Falcons. 5 - 2. The Falcons team that gave Slanted a run for his money once, and beat him another time.  What? Did the Falcons get a new coach? Nope. THE Falcor has this team competing. Even after trading Julio. Congrats Falcor. Dont let it go to your head.

12.   Ravens   (4-3)        

How the mighty have fallen. The reigning champs are not only 4-3,  they are below the Falcons. Perhaps that will serve as motivation, if letting Nerd kick your ass isn't motivation enough. Ravens still showcase a great defense, but offense has failed to live up to their part. Maybe trading Perriman to the Colts wasnt a great idea. Or maybe hes just in a funk.  Really need a bounce back game, what better foe for that than the Chiefs, coming up after the Bye week.

13.   Panthers   (4-3)        

Panthers has gone 2-1 since the last rankings, but has lost games he really needed to win to stay even rather than fall in the rankings.  Surprsingly Coach Moru has given up a lot more on D than expected. Rumor is, he's assembled his team of lawyers to come up with a plan to ban corner routes as well as a team of Madden gurus to get help him get his Defensive swagger back.

14.   Redskins (4-3)         

AtlBeast knows one thing. Win the games you are supposed to. Which they have. Doing more to actually get a win against a perceived superior opponent is another thing. The ground game has gone well for the Skins but looks like they should send RG3 packing. While not exactly horrible, he has struggled too often and come up short when it counts the most.

15.   Bills (4-4)         

A good defense has not been able to make up for a below average offense in Buffalo. Newly acquired has played well, much better than in Minnesota but there is still work to be done.  What this team has done well is in the Defense area, which helped them end the undefeated season of the Seahawks.

16.   Bengals (4-4)         

 Number 16 ranking might be a bit generous here. Not might actually. Is. While they narrowly beat Nerd's Eagles, should that impress me? Because it doesn't. Though we are thankful to any team that beats the Eagles, we'd rather see them destroyed. Bengals are not really excelling at anything. Playing in as tough a division as they are, they have much to improve on if they ever hope to get in the mix. They dont show me something, they wont be this high again. 
 

17.    Raiders   (4-4)  

 The buzz surrounding the Raiders has begun to fade. Promising showings versus the Broncos, Panthers and Chiefs early on had everyone believing this team needs to be on everyones Raider. Sadly for Coach Sam, buzz has turned to laughter and mocking. Not really, but O line problems continue to plague this squad resulting in a 30th rank in rushing. Raiders cant rely on passing alone and need a better run game and protection to take this team to a higher level.

18.    Titans   (3-4)                

There were not a whole lot of bright spots for the Titans this season.....until the Broncos came to town. Titans put on a clinic, showing why they are in top 5 passing teams in the league.  Defense needs to be a big focus for Coach Steel going forward. It might not happen this season, but next season the Titans really could make a splash. 

19.    Packers   (2-5)             

Coach Imdabomb43 took over the Packers after two coaches who didn't give a shit. So things can only improve. While he failed to be the Hero of the league in being the first to topple GOAT, aka Colts, he gave the Bears on run for his money. Failure to put a leash on Langford prevented that, along with a little Madden FUCK YOU. Imdabomb just might be able to make the Pack respectable.

20.    Jags  (3-4)     

A simmed game gone their way and a good Defense has kept the Jags above .500.  Overall poor production in the passing game has done the most damage to themselves. However, they have played well recently. A lot of tough games the second half of this season coming up, which are likely to keep them from ending with a winning season.

21.   Texans   (3-5)            

Texans have failed to take advantage of a division mostly wide open now that the Colts may have been exposed. Middle of the pack in passing, near last in rushing have not done them favors. Defense has gotten slightly better but still not good enough.

22.    Saints   (2-5)       

A decent offense has not been enough for the Saints. A good run D hasnt been enough either. The skills are there but Saints will have to work on a more well rounded game plan consistently to improve.

23.   Browns   (2-5)       

The good news continues for the Browns. They are still not ranked last and have two wins already this season. The other good news is they are tops in passing yards. The bad news? Two wins. More bad news? Last in rushing yards per game. But wait, there's more. They are circling the drain in all defensive categories. But let's end on a positive note. If they can get their HB to know which way to run with the ball and teach their Defense that their job is to STOP the other team from advancing the ball, then they'll be on their way.....

24.    Dolphins   (2-5)            

Coach Huseyourdaddy isnt what he used to be.  Used to be a bit more competitive in his days leading the Bears in M15.  These days, he struggles to get this team motivated.

25.   Niners     (2-5)             

Is the whipping the Niners put on the Cards a sign that Hurley is back?  Probably not. But at least it is finally some sign of life from this team. That's something I guess.  

26.    Cardinals   (1-5)              

Cards is like a Jekyll and Hyde. Shows promise and then gets stomped by the Niners.  So even at week 8, it's difficult to really wrap any sense around this team.

27.    Jets     (2-5)                

The Jets lost to a CPU Bengals team. I do not need to go on.

28.    Rams     (1-7)              

Rams have been uncharacteristically awful this season. The loss of Todd Gurley has made things worse. Losing to opponents you normally wouldnt expect them to, Stevoo has had a very rough year. A tough match up against Seattle followed by a much needed bye coming up. Good news after that is Gurley comes back, for a week or two, until his knees get mangled again and hes out for the season.

29.   Vikings (1-6)          

The Vikings have no idea what offense is. One of the worst offensive teams in the entire league and they gave the miserable Cowboys their only win this year. That says all you need to know.

30.   Giants    (2-5)             

Who coaches the Giants? No one is really sure. But they suck balls.

31.    Cowboys    (1-6)                

The Dallas star is no longer waived loud and proud in Texas these days as the 'Boys have gotten their asses handed to them all season. New Head Coach, M4rty takes over a team that has talent but lacking direction and coaching. Early showings lead us to believe that it will not be a quick turn around for this team.

.

32.   Chargers   (0-7)            

Toph makes his return and looks to drag this mess of a team out of the gutter. The team is a complete disaster and with no 1st or 2nd round pick, the road ahead will remain challenging for this squad into next season. Good luck Toph, you will need it.

Turd Ferguson
Below-average writer
Semi-loving father
Average husband
Hat enthusiast