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I Spit Hot Fire

by yoyoyoyo | 6 years ago | 5 Comments

DYLAN! DYLAN! DYLAN! DYLAN! DYLAN!

 

TOP FIVE OFFENSES: GROUND, AIR, STRATEGY, SUCCESS AND OPPOSITION

 

Blind Slants. Alshon Jeffery. All Scatterguns: The Philadelphia Eagles offense has been humming. The offense ranks TOP 3 in points, passing yards, and total yards per game. The rushing game is not successful as the air attack, which means little since they have the 6th best rushing performance so far. The unit unquestionably boasts the league’s best offensive line, with 4 blockers rated +90. Wentz has a QBR of just below 130 and nearly a 4:1 TD-INT ratio for 1,700 yards. Coach Byrd has managed this high powered offense while facing the heralded Falcons and a great Vikings defensive unit.

 

Snorting Cocaine Out Her Butt: Colts are TOP 3 in all four major offensive categories. The team managed to thrive during a tough 3 game stretch against the SFL’s #1 offense and the Super Bowl champion Texans and Patriots.  Jim Irsay could not be prouder or higher at the moment.

 

Long Distance POSTal Service: The Atlanta Falcons have the most talented skill position ensemble in the league: Matty, Free, Tevin, Quintorris Lopez, the Good Ridley Brother, and Sanu. Thankfully, Turbo has taken his talents elsewhere.  Stopping and/or containing this unit requires forcing turnovers and ball control. Good luck with deploying those! The Dirty Birds have captured TOP 5 positioning in the four major categories—top 3 in points, total yards, and rushing yards per game. Matt Ryan’s accuracy has been disappointing but his 1,567 yards helps offset a mistake or two. Freeman and Coleman have amassed nearly 700 yards on the ground with an equal share of 12 touchdowns. The load has been very light this season. The Falcons have only faced 2 teams with winning records and performed vastly different in both games. Given historical performance, we expect Coach Qelichick to keep his squad within these ranks, but better opposition will be the telltale.

 

A Long, Long, Time Ago…Coach Started the Season 7-0: Kansas City may be the most surprising team on this list. We knew Coach Codie liked to run the ball, but Patrick Mahomes has been particularly effective through the air, much like his real-life counterpart. The 2nd year signal caller hasn’t eclipsed 1,000 yards yet (20 yards shy) but has only thrown THREE interceptions through 5 games, the least turnovers for SFL starting quarterbacks. He’s completed 69% of his passes and holds the 2nd highest QBR of 133.8. Tyreek Hill, Sammy Watkins, and Chris Conley each have at least 300 yards receiving and a pair of scores. Kareem Hunt has struggled with finding open lanes but still stands 12th in rushing yards. Fans should be excited for a more balanced offensive attack and the 5-0 start. However, the team has seen only 1 winning record and the leagues two worst teams along the way. The team must keep improving to sustain this momentum. After all, we witnessed what happened the last time this coach got comfortable.

 

Open for Business: No team impressed enough for 5th best offense slot. Coaches are still adjusting to the league and having to refine their execution strategies. Quarterbacks require extra practice with their receivers. We expect teams to find their way soon.



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