Another Rich Scandal

by Eaazeho | 1 month ago | 0 Comments

Rich Eisen Show Monologue – The Cowboys & Jets “Incident”

"Folks, I’ve covered this league a long time. I’ve seen snowstorms push games, power outages stop Super Bowls, even a cat delay Monday Night Football. But never—not once—have I seen a game get delayed because an entire coaching staff and multiple players forgot what time it was… because they were too busy contemplating the mysteries of the universe."

"Cowboys. Jets. Supposed to play. Didn’t happen. Why? Because according to multiple reports—though the league is keeping quiet—too many key figures in this game were, let’s just say… unable to process the concept of a game clock. Some say it was a ‘team bonding gone wrong’ situation. Others claim it started with one assistant coach and ‘spread rapidly.’ Either way, by the time the league got involved, let’s just say the competitive fire had been replaced with a lot of deep conversations about the meaning of football itself."

"And now? Chaos. League officials scrambling to reschedule. Other teams worried their own games might be impacted. The Tokyo Dragons already putting out a statement basically saying, ‘Keep this nonsense away from us.’ Meanwhile, someone in the NFL office is desperately trying to find a rulebook section that covers… this."

"But here’s the real question, folks—how does this even happen at this level? At what point does someone look around and think, ‘Huh, everyone seems way too fascinated by the way the lights hit the field right now… Maybe we should check on that?’”

"Anyway, the game’s postponed, no official word on when it’s getting played, and I’m sure we’ll get some painfully vague statement from the league later today about ‘team protocol violations’ or ‘unforeseen circumstances.’ But we all know what went down."

"Alright, when we come back—Zachary Akers joins the show, and I have to ask… how does an entire organization let this happen? Stay tuned."