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sconn1

Member Since 12 years ago

Blog Entries

2014-03-02

2016-17 Offseason Schedule

The following will serve as a guide to the current offseason / preaseason ...

Player Resignings - Open Thru Monday Night @ 9pm et. 

Free Agency Bidding - Round 1 Mon @ 9 - Tues @ 9 / Round 2 - Tues at 9pm - Wed @ 9am / Round 3 - Wed 9am Thru Wed 9pm. 

Scouting will be open thru right before the draft. 

DRAFT Thursday night @ 9pm 

Preseason - Fast - 1st advance (to week 2) Fri Morning (bout 8am) 2nd Advance (to week 3) noon - 1pm. 3rd advance (to week 4) bout 9pm Friday night. 

Regular Season will kick off Saturday @ NOON ET. Advances will be 48hrs, week 1 we will get the time back to 9pm advance time tho. So week 1 to week 2 advance will be Monday night at 9pm which should give everyoen plenty of time to get off to a good start. 

 

GL2ALL!!!

The Commish

2014-01-08

2015 -2016 Postseason / Offseason Schedule

From The Commissioner's Office

For Immediate Release

 

Greetings!

Welcome to the 2015 Post season / 2016 offseason. The following will serve as a guide so people can plan. Of course, things are always subject to change, but only in cases of emergency or severe hardship / unforseen circumstance.

 

As a remnder, all playoff rounds in Realball are 24 hours. We do expect owners / coaches lucky enough to make the post season to make it a priority to get the game played ASAP. 

Wildcard Round - Wed Jan 8th / 9pm - Thur Jan 9th/9pm

Divisional Round - Thur Jan 9th/9pm - Friday Jan 10th/9pm

Championship Round - Fri Jan 10th/9pm - Sat Jan 11th/9pm

SuperBowl  -  Sat Jan 11th - Sun Jan 12th. 

****SEE BELOW FOR UPDATE (bottom of article)****

After Superbowl, we will advance to the offseason. Players will have about 48 hours (give or take) to get all players resigned or lose them to free agency. Of course, if the playoffs go faster than the above schedule (which is typical) expect the resign and thus all the other offseason stages to move up as well.

After the Resign period, we will enter free agency. This year, expect free agency, as a total, to be about 48 hours (1 24hr period and 2 12 hour periods, not nec in that order). 

After Free Agency ends, we will have scouting open (will be open thru most of the playoffs) till shortly before the draft, which will be scheduled as we get close to or after the Superbowl is played. 

Also, for any owners who wish to replace staff (not avail for coaches) keep in mind those options usually come up the week after you are eliminated, so you will need to pay attention to advances as well. 

 

Good Luck to all and as always, thank you for participating in Realball.

Sincerely,

The Commish :) 

 

UPDATE 1/10/2014:  Due to our playoffs running smoothly and quickly, I anticipate the Superbowl to be played either Friday evening or Saturday daytime, depending on who goes how far ,,, Resigns will run thru Sunday night (prob till 9pm. FA will then run on a 24/12/12 cycle beginning Sunday night. Expect the draft to be WED, Jan 15th 2014 @ around 9pm eastern start. This is tentative depending on how the last 2 rounds play out. 

OF COURSE, TRADING will be available after the post season for all members. All pre draft trades must be approved but you only need 1 approval from either Kev or myself. During the draft, no approval is necessary (as long as the trade involves draft picks), if it feels good, do it. 

2013-12-21

"I'm Waiting To See If My Opponent Contacts Me" And Other Lameness - A RB Scheduling Refresher

If you have missed 1 or more games in the last season, you owe it to yourself to read the following: 

 

The obvious and cliche answer to how people get games done is "communication." It's tired and it's lame, but more importantly, it's true. Communication is the key to getting games done. Early and often. 

Commishing for over 5 years now, I think I have heard every reason, story, excuse or whatever when it comes to why a game didn't get done. Yes, life does happen and things do come up.  And no one is ever expected to put Madden in front of things that really matter, at least for very long, lol. And for those times when games can't be played, we have the auto pilot function. 

But another fact is out there. The one that we all did sign up to play in this league, not make political statements. It is YOUR responsibility to schedule games, not your opponent. Every person should have that attitude. Now it is reasonable in the real world that some are more outgoing or eager than others, but that is not an excuse to sit bak and make people chase you down. They have lives too. 

And it is never accesptable to play the "i'm waiting to see if my opponent contacts me" bullshit, lazy ass crap. And that is all it is, gussied up as something noble. This tactic will wreck leagues and is a cancerous thought. 20 guys can't be the "tester" to see who is contacting who. And the last time I checked, NO ONE in this league is that good at contacting people week in and week out to merit such a job.  All doing this does is cause more and more people to "check out." And seriously, from this point forward, if anyone is playing this game, strike list aside, I will seriously consider just removing them as we need people here who want to play and are willing to man up and contact their opponent. 

And besides, I always help anyone out who needs it. Most of the time we get it done, rarely , we don't. 

But as a refresher, remember the best ways to reach opppnents are:

1) Text - with rare exception, everyoen here can be contacted by text. And while I don't want anyone being obnoxious, if someone doesn't respond in a reasonable period, text em again, and a 3rd time. Put some hours between em and don't text when people are usually sleeping unless you know someone is up, but like I said before, we all are here to play Madden, so getting texts about playing Madden shouldn't be a terrible burden on anyone. 

      And when you receive a text, if at all possible , TAKE 30 SECONDS TO RESPOND. especially if you get a lot of texts, doing the "i'll get back to them later" stuff rarely, if ever happens. The text gets buried and other things come up. Meanwhile, someone who matters jsut as much as you is sitting there waiting for you to respond, like a decent human being. Please do respond. 

      And when texting or communicating in any way, put as much info out there as possible. We all know what the other guy needs to know,,, what time windows we have,,,, so TELL THEM. The more upfront you are, I  promise you will find scheduling will be much easier. If you only have 3 or 4 avail hours, or less,  don't tell the other guy "anytime" when it isn't true. And if you won't be home till 7:30, don't tell someone 7pm. And if you know you will need to shower, eat, spend time with the significant other, walk the dog, etc,,, don't schedule a game for the second you walk in, again, leaving another guy just sitting there wasting time. 

 

2) Chat - The chat room is a great place to find me or solicit my help. If you do go there, remember that people who have a red "game piece" next to their name (vs blue, green, white or gold) are not in the room. Also, coming in and asking the room "where the _________ owner at?" generally won't get it done. Nor will expecting the league to be your secretary with gems like "tell the ___________ owner that i will be on at 10 to play." 

      If you need my help, the above rules apply, plus don't leave unless i've specifically acknowledged what you have asked of me. Don't assume I see anything. The chat scrolls, the room resets and sometimes I may be parked in there while working on other things. 

 

3) PSN - The least effective method. As time passes, less and less people use their PSN mailbox. It seems unless someone is staring at the screen at the moment you send a message, it gets lost or buried. Use it if you need to and good luck w/ it. 

4) Phone - More and more in other leagues, and a little here, I am seeing and experiencing people jsut picking up the phone and talking to the other guy. I gotta say, this method might just be the best, the old fashioned way. It is remarkably easy to set up a game time talking vs texting / emailing. And furthermore, I think, and others have backed this up, that it does humanize us all to each other a little more. Those intangibles are always good for keeping bullshit, drama and unfair play out of our ranks. 

 

I hope this has helped and if anyone has any needs, please contact me. 

Thank you again for participating in Realball

Sincerely,

The Commish.

2013-12-09

REalball - PS4 Sign-Ups HERE !!!

Greetings!

 

If you would like to sign up for Realball - PS4 you have come to the right place!

Realball PS4 will begin shortly after the New Year, sign ups will go on through the month of December or until all spots have been filled. Since this is our 1st season on the new console, owners will be able to pick their teams upon sign up. So, in other words, teams will be chosen on a 1st come, 1st serve basis to start things off.

To be eligible, one must either currently own a PS4 and a copy of Madden 25 or expect fully to obtain one of each at Christmastime. 

OF course, I will be taking the Steelers. All other teams are eligible to be selected. 

Rules are expected to be fairly open to start, due to improved AI and less "glitches" in the next gen game. We will adjust however as things become known.  We will also have our own Daddyleagues site for members to keep social and do certain functions of the game, particularly with team management. 

If anyone has any questions, see me in chat or text me. 

Thank You,

 

The Commish :) 

*** To sign up, reply below with your PSN / Team Picked / Text Number

2013-12-02

2015 Preseason Schedule

Greetings and welcome to our 30th season of Realball!!! This is our 3rd season for the Madden 25 Edition, but our 30th since we began in 2009. 

The following shall serve as a guide to the brief 2015 preseason. The total time will be about 1 day. It will be advanced as follows...

** Advance to week 1 about 10 min post draft

** Advance to week 2 about 8 am et

** Advance to week 3 about noon et. 

** advance to week 4 of the pre-season about 5-6pm.

** Regular Season will Kick off at 8pm Tuesday Night. 

There will be no auto pilots ... most guys don't bother to play, and preseason is more about cutting players and practice XPs. All owners have the same opportunity to collect them over the 24 hour period. All injuries in preseason are off. 

After we advaance to regular season, we will resume our normal 48hr advance schedule. 

As always, thank you for participating in Realball

 

Sincerely,

The Commish

2013-11-22

2014 Off-Season Schedule - Tentative

As we approach the playoffs, it is time to look ahead to our 2014-2015 off season up through the rookie draft. The following will serve as a  tentative guide, subject to change, but hopefully won't:

Assuming the playoffs are finished by Monday, Nov 25th ....

After Superbowl Through Wed Nov 27th @ 9pm will be the player resigning period. 

1st Round of Free Agency will go through the holiday and end Friday Night @ 9pm. 

2nd Round of Free Agency will go from Fri @ 9 to Saturday @ 9pm. 

3rd Round of  Free Agency will go from Sat @ 9pm to Sunday @ 9pm. 

Scouting will remain open till right before the draft, which will be held on Monday, December 2nd. at 9pm et. 

Also, please note that if you have coaching / staff changes you want to make, you need to check each round of the playoffs. Staff cahnges (I believe) are offered teh week after a team is eliminated. So if you don't make the post season, the wildcard week should be your week to fire and put in bids on a new staffer. A lot of this is new to me too, so paying attention yourself is the best way not to get burned. 

 

Thank you for participating in Realball.

SConn1 - The Commish

2013-11-05

More New Rules

From The Commissioners Desk:

For Immediate Release:

 

Because some players continue to take liberties that aren't exactly kosher, it has become necessary to spell out a couple of practices that will no longer be allowed:

1) Flipping Plays - Will no longer be allowed once the team has reached the LOS (line of scrimmage).  Too many people are now using this just as it's taught in videos and cheese guides to totally mess up defensive coverage in a way that can't really be recovered from. 

       ** Players can still flip immediately coming out of the huddle. 

       ** If a player "accidentally" flips a play at the LOS, the player must then either take a delay of game or call a timeout. No exceptions. 

       ** Snapping the ball is strictly forbiddn if the play has been flipped. IF the player runs the play, they must give back 2X the yardage gained + 1 down the 1st time, They must immediately punt the ball (regardless of down or distance) the 2nd time and the 3rd they MUST forfeit the game by whatever means necessary. IF the player refuses forfeiture, they will be immediately ejected from the league. 

 

2) Formation changes at the line:

This, along with the flipping has been used to mess up coverages. Therefore we will make the following change / restriction: 

1) Players may make 1 formation change presnap. It can be done before players reach the line or after they reach the line. 

       ** IF the player changes formations at the line, he must allow all players to set on both sides of the ball and wait 3 clock seconds before snapping. IF that causes a delay, the player must take the delay. This is SPECIFICALLY being done because one of the things ppl will do is time the change so they reach the line with only a couple seconds left and will argue they need to snap in order to avoid the delay. My suggestion is make the decision earlier, take a timeout or dont change forms to begin with. 

3) Use of Tight Ends, changing formations:

This year, because of the NFL being more open to players moving in various roles, we have been more liberal allowing players to use TEs and other skilled players in non traditional roles, like in the slot or even set wide. Unfortunately people are now taking advantage of "unique" personell sets and the no huddle option for combos that just aren't fair. So, in response, we will make the following rule changes:

1) Players can still use skill players in various roles as outlined in the rules. 

       *HOWEVER, players may not go from any 3 (or more) wide set to any set that has less (default) receivers on the field. In other words, they cannot go from say a doubles gun formation to a pistol w 2 wide or a I formation w 2 wide or 1 wide & 1 slot. IF they use no huddle and the orig formation has 3 players in traditional / default wr positions, then all following formations must have 3 players wide (like receiver, flanker, slot) as well. 

If these new additions confuse anyone, see me in chat to explain or answer any questions. 

 

 

 

2013-10-30

New 4th Down Rules

Greetings from the commissioner's desk!

Over the years, we have operated under more of a "philosophy" than an outright rule concerning 4th downs. For 5 years, this worked without much controversy. Owners understood that them being reasonable in decisions came 1st and foremost. Over the last year, some owners, both new and some veteran players, have taken it upon themselves to reinterpret my wiritings of course taking every liberty they can and not considring the league or it's integrity in the process. 

We could continue on with such a philosophy and I believe in most cases, it would work just as it has. But as time goes on, and my patience for tutoring new people and so forth wanes, I have decided to create a more formal 4th down rule.  This rule will be based on what most consider sim or fair play, with our own modifications where prudent and with a philopophy not unlike our previous one. The difference will be some minimally invasive formal rules that will dictate proper play to owners and hopefully will help avoid future controversies. 

The following will be inserted into the permenant rules and previous guidelines will be null and void in favor of these new guidelines:

1) Owners are expected to be reasonable in all decisions. Being the most aggressive you can be at all or most times is not reasonable. 

2) You may go on 4th anytime when you are down (not tied or leading) in the 2nd half with the following caveats:

     a) In the 3rd quarter, you must be beyond your own 40 yard line or the distance must be 1 yard or less. 

     b) When at the player's own 40 or beyond, down to the opponent's 35 yard line,  the distance must be 4 yards or less in the 3rd quarter. 

     c) Inside the 35, the player may go if down in any distance. The only requirement here is that they must be down by 4 points or more. IF within 3 points, the player must kick either a FG or punt.  

3) In the 1st 3 quarters, if the player is losing by 14pts or less, tied or  leading by 8 pts or less they may not go on 4th with the following exceptions:

     a) The player may go for it inside the 5 (4 yd line or less) of your opponent's end zone and it is "4th and goal." If it is 4th and a distance, the player must kick the FG. 

     b) If the player is in "no man's land" (for our purposes we will define "no man's land" as from midfield to the 35 yd line) and the distance is 1 yard or less. 

4) Any time a player is leading by more than 8 points they may not go on 4th. Period. 

5) In the 4th quarter, if the player is leading by 8 points or less, they may go in the following circumstances:

     a) In "no mans land" with distance being 1 yd or less. 

     b) Inside the 5 (4 yard line or less) and the situation to be "4th and goal." 

6) Any time a player is down by more than 14 points in the entire game or simply down by any amount in the 4th quarter the player my go at their discretion. 

7) If the player on offense is down in the 1st half  by 14 or less points, they may go anytime they are beyond their own 40 yard line and the distance is 4 yards or less or inside the 5 and the situation is "4th and goal." 

8) In overtime,  the player may go no matter what. 

I sincerely hope the above will help clarify 4th down situations and give owners clear rules in which they can comply. IF a situation arises that has not been addressed, bring the issue to me or asst commish kev for a ruling.  

As always, thank you for aparticipating in Realball. 

2013-10-24

An Easier Way To Spend Your Valuable XPs & Time

Greetings from the commissioner's desk. 

I just wanted to take a moment to point out a recently added feature some owners may not know about. Have you ever wished that you didn't have to repetively choose to spend xps say "375pts" at a time ... over and over...? Well now, thanks to Daddyleagues, you can save your precious time and sanity by doing your player upgrades here. 

When you choose to do your upgrading here on the site, you can choose to spend ALL of your XPs in one category with one click. Just choose to spend ALL XPs on whichever category you choose and the game will pump them all in and give you the balance, whatever that may be. If you haven't tried it yet, give it a whirl, I think you will appreciate the time and effort saved vs on the EA site or even in the game itself. 

As always, thank you for participating in Realball.

Sincerely,

The Commish :) 

2013-10-19

Packers Kick Off 2014 Realball Season With Big Win

The 2014 Realball regular season kicked off Saturday night with a great contest between DaddysHome's Packers up against Dboogieman's Cowboys. Dez Bryant had a big night for the Cowboys running up 131 receiving yards and jason Witten padded on another 100 but it wasn't enough as a steady run attack lead by Eddie Lacy and a 100 yard + night for Randall Cobb proved a little too much on this day. 

 

Immanuel Maramorosa had a key interception and Casey Heyward had another to shore up the defensive side of the ball. Packer's QB Aaron Rodgers was quoted as saying "it's great to get this 1st win and get that proverbial monkey off our back and you always hope this will be a sign of things to come." 

Meanwhile, in the Cowboys locker room, Cowboys coaches seemed livid at their teams lack of coverage in teh 2nd half not to mention an inability to generate any turnovers. "We can surely expect this " to change or heads will roll,"  GM D. Boogie was heard saying to an assistant coach after the game, right before he threw a drink in his face before storming off. 

Realball looks forward to many more exciting contests from both these teams throughout the season. 

Imman

2013-10-11

Congratulations To AFC / NFC Championship Teams

The commish would like to congratulate all the teams that made it to the championship round. These teams include Washington(rocka), San Francisco(metal), Indianapolis(blakey) and New England(heat).  We would also like to wish the best of luck to all the teams in this round and the Super Bowl for the two teams who will be fortunate enough to make it this season.

Of course, for the rest of us, there is the upcoming offseason, resigns (staff and players for some), free agency and the draft to help us all improve to a level that we might make it to such a pinnacle next season. If any owners have any suggestions / requests ... as per our tradition, offseason is the best time to bring such things up. 

Thank you all for participating in realball. 

 

2013-10-02

Results Of NFL Urine Tests Are In!!!

 

T-Mobile

 
4:51pm
91%
 
 
 

 

Roger Goodell
 
 
 

Commissioner Goodell, my name is Ian Freely. I’m a lab assistant here at the NFL division of Quest Medical.

 
 
 

Yes, Mr. Freely?

 
 
 

I have the results of the urine tests that you asked for, sir.

 
 
 

Good, good.

 
 
 

As you know, we’ve had some high profile substance abuse issues lately.

 
 
 

Yes sir.

 
 
 

Von Miller. Aldon Smith. Josh Gordon.

 
 
 

I read about those, yes sir.

 
 
 

So it’s vital that we carefully inspect the urine of every NFL player.

 
 
 

That’s all I’ve been doing for the past week, sir.

 
 
 

Good.

 
 
 

My next door neighbor is a professor of archeology at NYU. He commands respect from hundreds of brilliant students every day.

 
 
 

Me, I spent my week squinting at little cups of pee.

 
 
 

Focus, Mr. Freely.

 
 
 

Yes sir.

 
 
 

Did you find any traces of drugs in Pacman Jones’ urine sample?

 
 
 

It would be more accurate to say that we found some traces of urine in Pacman Jones’ drug sample.

 
 
 

Goddammit.

 
 
 

How about Vince Wilfork?

 
 
 

His sample was nearly 75% pure nacho cheese.

 
 
 

What did you find in Jay Cutler’s sample?

 
 
 

Enough nicotine to clog the mighty Mississippi River.

 
 
 

Colin Kaepernick?

 
 
 

We didn’t check his sample.

 
 
 

Why not?

 
 
 

When he tried to hand us the cup, Richard Sherman intercepted it.

 
 
 

Interesting.

 
 
 

Michael Vick?

 
 
 

A pretty bad case of kennel cough.

 
 
 

Tony Romo?

 
 
 

Equal parts apple juice, vodka, and sour apple schnapps.

 
 
 

Aren't those the ingredients for an appletini?

 
 
 

Yes. Yes they are.

 
 
 

Mark Sanchez?

 
 
 

Unfortunately we weren’t able to collect a usable sample from Mr. Sanchez.

 
 
 

Because?

 
 
 

He kept missing the cup.

 
 
 

Every time?

 
 
 

Zero-for-10 attempts.

 
 
 

Just out of curiosity, who cleaned up all that spilled pee?

 
 
 

That would be me, sir.

 
 
 

Sorry to hear that.

 
 
 

You know, when I was little, I used to dream of being an astronaut. Or a fireman. Something noble.

 
 
 

Focus, Mr. Freely.

 
 
 

Yes sir.

 
 
 

Justin Houston?

 
 
 

No drugs in his urine, through we did find chunks of the Eagles’ offensive line in his stool.

 
 
 

Eli Manning?

 
 
 

Fruit Roll-Ups and Cherry Kool-Aid.

 
 
 

Calvin Johnson?

 
 
 

High performance Mobil 10W-30.

 
 
 

Brandon Weeden?

 
 
 

Pure, concentrated sadness.

 
 
 

Mr. Freely?

 
 
 

Yes sir?

 
 
 

What’s your middle name?

 
 
 

Patrick, sir. After my paternal grandfather.

 
 
 

So your full name is… Ian Patrick Freely?

 
 
 

Yes sir.

 
 
 

Your name is I.P. Freely?

 
 
 

Huh. I never made that connection until now.

 
 
 

Ndamukong Suh?

 
 
 

Raw meat.

 
 
 

Sam Bradford?

 
 
 

You really don’t want to know, trust me.

 
 
 

J.J. Watt?

 
 
 

Dragon Blood.

 
 
 

Marshawn Lynch?

 
 
 

Skittle juice.

 
 
 

Peyton Manning?

 
 
 

When I looked through my microscope at Mr. Manning's urine, I saw dozens of teeny, tiny little advertisements for Direct TV.

 
 
 

Really?

 
 
 

You seem surprised.

 
 
 

I thought Papa John's had the exclusive licensing rights to sponsor Peyton's pee.

 
 
 

Bill Belichick?

 
 
 

An extraordinarily high count of negatively charged midi-chlorians.

 
 
 

Midi-chlorians?

 
 
 

Yes.

 
 
 

Like from Star Wars?

 
 
 

Yes.

 
 
 

The microbes that make up “the force?”

 
 
 

The “dark side” of the force in this case, yes sir.

 
 
 

So… you’re saying that Bill Belichick is a Jedi?

 
 
 

Of course not, sir. That would be silly.

 
 
 

Technically, he’s a Sith Lord.

 
 
 

All right. I think that’s all the info I can handle for today.

 
 
 

Commissioner Goodell?

 
 
 

Yes?

 
 
 

We also examined your pee too, sir.

 
 
 

Oh.

 
 
 

We found a large quantity of, um, "human growth hormone," sir.

 
 
 

Well, I don't actually play in the NFL, so that's not an issue.

 
 
 

It was very a very specific type of human growth hormone, sir.

 
 
 

Yes, thank you Mr. Freely.

 
 
 

Which is to say, it grows a very specific part of the human anatomy, sir.

 
 
 

That'll be all Mr. Freely.

 
 
 

Sir, you're taking enough Viagra to give Al Davis' corpse an erection.

 
 
 

THAT WILL BE ALL MR. FREELY.

 
 
 

Did you know that my mother tells her friends I'm a garbageman?

 
 

 

2013-09-26

A Text Conversation Between Rex Ryan's Wife & Bill Belichick's Girlfriend (satire)

 

T-Mobile

 
1:31 pm
71%
 
 
 

 

UNKNOWN CALLER
 
 
 

Hi, is this Michelle Ryan? Wife of Jets coach Rex Ryan?

 
 
 

Yes it is. Who are you?

 
 
 

Hi Michelle. I’m Linda Holliday, Bill Belichick’s girlfriend.

 
 
 

Oh hi Linda. How are you?

 
 
 

I’m good. Listen, I wanted to reach out to you because Bill’s Patriots are playing your husband’s Jets this week.

 
 
 

Oh yes, I’m well aware.

 
 
 

And despite any bad feelings that exist between our fellas, I want to wish you good luck.

 
 
 

Well aren’t you sweet? Thank you so much. And best of luck to you too.

 
 
 

So has Rex mentioned any, um, specific plans he has for the game?

 
 
 

Plans?

 
 
 

You know. Some new trick play or formation?

 
 
 

Linda?

 
 
 

Yes?

 
 
 

Did Bill ask you to try and steal Rex’s game plan from me via text?

 
 
 

NO, NO, NO, OF COURSE NOT. This is just, you know, girl talk.

 
 
 

Okay.

 
 
 

But if you did have any info on Rex’s plans, the least you could do is pass it along.

 
 
 

The “least I could do?” For what?

 
 
 

That time the Jets accused the Pats of stealing their signals

 
 
 

Rex wasn’t even with the Jets then.

 
 
 

And the Patriots WERE stealing the Jets’ signals!

 
 
 

Oh come on. Every team does that. Your husband's team was just being whiny little babies.

 
 
 

No, every team does NOT do that, and your boyfriend was being a scummy little cheater.

 
 
 

JUST BECAUSE YOUR HUSBAND CAN’T WIN A SUPER BOWL DOESN’T MEAN YOU GET TO CALL MY MAN A CHEATER!

 
 
 

JUST BECAUSE YOUR BOYFRIEND IS A GRUMPY, LOWDOWN THIEF DOESN’T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO INSULT MY MAN'S RECORD!

 
 
 

YOUR HUSBAND IS A FOOT-FETISH FREAK!

 
 
 

YOUR BOYFRIEND DUMPED HIS WIFE OF 30 YEARS FOR A BIG-TITTED TROPHY GIRLFRIEND LIKE YOU!

 
 
 

I WILL RIP OUT YOUR BLONDE HAIR BY THE BRUNETTE ROOTS YOU MISERABLE MANHATTAN WENCH!

 
 
 

COME AT ME, YOU BOSTON BAKED BITCH!

 
 
 

Michelle, I’m… I’m sorry. I don't know what came over me.

 
 
 

No Linda, I'm the one who should apologize for flying off the handle like that.

 
 
 

I’m just fiercely protective of my Bill. He’s a good man, a tender lover, and a great coach.

 
 
 

I understand. My Rex is a wonderful husband and caring father who’s also hung like a bull moose.

 
 
 

Well, I apologize for being rude. Forgive me?

 
 
 

(reaches out, gently touches your arm)

 
 
 

Of course, sweetie.

 
 
 

(caresses your cheek softly)

 
 
 

Mmm. That’s nice.

 
 
 

(runs hand slowly through your hair)

 
 
 

Ohhh. I like when you do that.

 
 
 

(Moves close to you. I feel your warm breath mixing with mine.)

 
 
 

(reaches behind you to trace my finger slowly down your back)

 
 
 

(my hands travel down your firm hips, and wrap themselves around your tight bottom)

 
 
 

Oh my god, yes. Touch me there. It feels so good.

 
 
 

(I pull your body tightly against mine.)

 
 
 

(I feel your chest heaving, your heart pounding)

 
 
 

(My smoldering blue eyes gaze deeply into yours)

 
 
 

(I tilt my head, and lean my face towards you. My trembling lips draw closer, ever closer...)

 
 
 

 
 
 

...

 
 
 

Why’d you stop, baby?

 
 
 

Rex Ryan’s wife has green eyes.

 
 
 

What?

 
 
 

You said your "smoldering blue eyes" were gazing deeply into mine. But Rex Ryan's wife has GREEN eyes.

 
 
 

She does?

 
 
 

I mean, I do?

 
 
 

 
 
 

Rex, this is you, isn’t it?

 
 
 

Bill?

 
 
 

Um. Yeah. It's me.

 
 
 

Oops.

 
 
 

So... we’re never talking about this ever again, right?

 
 
 

That'd probably be for the best, yeah.

 
 
 

Okay. But Bill?

 
 
 

What?

 
 
 

Do you want to... you know... finish?

 
 
 

NO.

 
 
 

Right, right. Me neither. I was just checking.

 
 

copyright - profootballmock.com - used under creative commons jurisdicition. 

2013-09-23

From The Commissioner's Desk; Our Evolving Rulebook

Recently I have had many good discussions / debates with many league members concernting some of our rules. As you all know, we pride ourselves on having an evolving rulebook that adapts to the players and the game. As things change in the game and / or real life, we are constantly evaluating what can be done fairly within the confines and limitations of Madden.  The goal, ultimately is to allow players to "do whatever they choose." And in an ideal world, we could do just that. But unfortunately the technological lmitations and / or flaws of Madden prevent us from doing that. So like the NFL, we have an evolving rulebook that changes as we change.

Today, after the previously mentioned discussions, studies of some new formations / plays in some playbooks and some testing, it has been decided that we will ELIMINATE some of the skill position restrictions. To give some background, some playbooks now feature sets where the playcall screen shows the opponent a "goallne" type formation (2HB 3TE 0WR). In the past, we wouldn't allow a goalline formation outside the deep redzone or in obvious short yardage situations (like 3rd and less than 3). And we still don't. But there are other formations that are actually shotgun / pistol type forms that we must allow.  Therefore, in order to keep the playing field level, teams may sub in HBs, TEs and WRs at will, with one exception. The exception being we still do not allow a WR to put their hand on the ground. Also, we will say that IF a formation has someone in the halfback spot, you cannot sub the hb out for a wr and put the hb out wide.  Finally, this is being done to help everyone compete. If this becomes a big clusterfuck with everyone trying to deceptively mindfuck everyone else all day, it won't last and future rules will be more restrictive. This, just like the strange formations in some books that have emerged, is meant as a situational thing, not an all day thing. 

Also, the goalline form limitations still stand. Only in deep red zone (generally inside the 10 at least, really inside the 5) and in obvious run situations. This will allow the opponent to discern most situations and be able to pick a plausible defense.  If the situation is not within the goalline restrictions, the opponent may safely assume the formation is amongst the more "normal" ones and may indeed lean towards the pass. 

Despite this longwinded explanation, rest assured, the result in the actual rulebook is a rare shortening of it. I eliminated several paragraphs pertaining to the previous position restricitions. 

ALSO - There were some small additions to the book. Mainly in the area of nano / turbo blitzing as some have been abusing an old exploit that apparently has returned, at least for the time being. 

The rulebook can be easily reviewed by clicking here

As always, thank you for participating in realball and if anyone has ay questions, just flag me down in chat and i'll be happy to address them. 

Sincerely,

SConn1 (the commish)

 

2013-09-23

Blog Article Simple "How To" Guide

Here is a "How To" for the process of posting a story here on our Realball homepage. League members can feel free at any time to post press releases from the team,  game recaps or just some humor / (fun) trash talk. In the offseason, teams can try to get additional interest in their trade blocks by using the blog. Teams can lament the loss of a key player or celebrate the arrival of the new team superstar.  Other possibilities include whatever your imagination can create, as long as it's relevant to the league and at least in semi - good taste / not personally offensive to other members. And of course, if anyone has any questions you can always shoot me a text and I'll happily help you out.

To start your story… go to our league's homepage at  http://daddyleagues.com/realball/  and click the front office tab in the league menu bar. (Be sure you are logged into daddyleagues or the front office tab wont show up for you.) 

After you click front office then click the tab that says post blog.

Blog Title is the name you want to show up as the title of your story... Make it catchy! (and capitalize every word)

Gamecap ID is the stats from a recorded game that you can post with your stories if you choose. Go to your game recaps and view the stats and the game recap ID will be the numerical part of the URL.

Blog URL just shows you what the URL for your post will be.

Image URL is how you post a picture to the story. To do so (easiest way) go to google and search images for what you want... when you find the image you want to use right click and select copy img url... then paste that info into the Image URL field in your blog post.

Category is the last option and this is important.... LEAVE IT ALONE! If it says League News then it will generate and show up on the league's homepage but if you choose your individual team as the category then the story will only show up on your team page and that's it.

If anyone has any questions just let me know I'm here to help! Hope to start seeing some new stories pop up soon!