We come to you after days of having to process the 40-7 beatdown that the Steelers handed the Bengals in what was Plaxico Burress's return to "The Steel City." It was a complete and utter mess as it seems to be an ongoing thing with this franchise. After a 1-0 start to the season, it seemed as if HC Zach Smith knew what he was doing moving up to the NFL ranks and it seems as if he is just another Nick Saban or Chip Kelly. This could quite possibly be the shortest column ever written in terms of highlights from a teams game.
Tyler Boyd scores on a 75 yard catch to lead the Bengals with their only points of the game.
Yes that is all.
This was a complete failure and we feel that all the events leading up to the game below, had many impacts in our team preperation for the game.
PacMan Jones-arrested for threatening Skip Bayless at Orange Theory
Interim DC Sharper-lost playbook, used Madden to help design plays
OchoCinco-no show for WR training after not receiving McDonald's coupon book
Bus breaks down on the way to Heins Field and team shows up 30 mins before kickoff.
After this embarrasing loss, could roster moves be made prior to the trade deadline? It looks as if GM O'Shea is really pushing to make some changes to add youth and rebuild the franchise in hopes to compete in the 2027 season. Follow our Twitter @XCFLBengals for up to date information on possible moves coming soon. As the team prepares for the Arizona Cardinals in week 5, HC Smith is pushing for more energy from his group by offering up a Hit Stick Grill (Inspired by Paul Wall) and a "Get out of Jail Free" card for the remainder of the 2019 season for top performers.
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With our intern sports writer arrested for insider trading and betting after predicting exact results of the Bengals/Bills game, we come to you with very few highlights from the week 3 defensive battle in Buffalo.
After an unfortunate, but entertaining bus ride to the stadium left WR Coach Plaxico Burress in jail prior to the game and just recently released due to weapons charges, the team took the field with little confidence after a tough home loss to the 49ers.
Moving the ball through the air didn’t seem to be an issue, but turnovers in the red zone are what created the difference in this game. With Andy Dalton “Telegraph”ing passes, it was all but certain they could not win with Buffalo’s stiffening run defense. The OL showed up and played well giving up just 1 sack, but it wasn’t enough as Red Rocket continued to show why Cincinnati’s plans are to draft a QB of the future. With Red Rockets INT with 7 seconds remaining down 13-3, LB Shaquem Griffin headed down the sideline giving Dalton “the finger” high stepping his way to his first career TD. Dalton requested another donation to his Foundation after the game, but has yet to hear back from Griffin or the Bills Mafia. WR Tyler Boyd keeps his pace (9-171) for a solid pro bowl caliber season, but that is the one bright spot this team can see if they can manage to keep him in Cincinnati with all of the problems they’ve been facing.
After the tough 20-3 loss and the team was packing up, it was then realized RB Coach OJ Simpson had gone missing. He was later found heavily intoxicated headed to the Maid of the Myst Tour wearing his #32 Bills jersey that was stolen from their newly designed HOF Center. If things couldn’t get worse for this franchise, a frustrated AJ Green looks to demand a trade or will hold out in the coming weeks for the lack of use in the offense. John Ross looks to make a return next week in what hopes for a great compliment and additional weapon for the offense as they face tough division rival, Pittsburgh. Don’t expect much. HC Zach Smith has a lot on his plate going into week 4, let’s see if they can regroup and make a run......at the #1 pick.
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Week 2 is in the books and like the Bengals OL, the sports writer for The Telegraph still hasn’t shown up so we’re going to wing this one.
Paul Brown Stadium was rocking as the teams took the field. With a close to record setting sound for the home opener, the Bengals could feel the excitement. Only one problem. They were chanting “Bosa, Bosa, Bosa” for the long time beloved Nick Bosa who returned to Ohio after a final season with the Buckeyes was cut short due to injury. It seemed as if the team had been defeated from the get go. With the 49ers coming out hot from the start with a home crowd feel behind them, Cincinnati couldn’t find answers for the speed of John Lynch’s stellar young roster. With record setting paces beginning in the 1st quarter, it was destined to be a long day for the Bengals. As the first half wrapped up, HC Zach Smith had some serious threats throughout the locker room, including the hiring of Jerry Sandusky. It seemed to have work as the team came out and battled their way back, but fell short 28-20 after giving up a record setting 12 sacks on the day. This brings us to our top story of the day, prized Rookie Jonah Williams who assisted Dee Ford with 7.5 of those sacks. The 1st round pick for the Bengals in the 2019 draft has had a less than mediocre start to his career. Hopefully the experience in this game will help him bounce back week 3 in Buffalo.
Some bright spots were within the defense who was able to hold Jimmy GQ to less than 405 yards and 4 TDs as promised. Unfortunately it did not lead to any XP gained for the team, but a confidence booster that even someone that stunning could be contained. Big plays given up on the ground led to the tough loss, but bright spots on what’s a rebuilding team.
Post game antics led to players escorted to their cars and buses as PacMans “homies” wearing their sea of orange jumpsuits in the LitterBox escaped and ran wild through Cincinnati causing damages of an estimated $300 million. As reported by TMZ, many players were at King’s Island chanting “Hell no, We Won’t Go,” referring to the Hamilton County Corrections Facility. There are still a few on the loose, but it is believed they are not armed or dangerous according to PacMan Jones.
Tune in next week as the Bengals travel to Buffalo to take on the Bills, because that’s the only team there and why else would they travel to Buffalo. We’re expecting a tight defensive battle in which turnovers win the game, for Buffalo. We’re going to predict a final of 20-3 with a last second, unnecessary, pick 6 by the “One Armed Bandit” himself, Shaquem Griffin for the additional XP and to crowd surf in the Bills Mafia.
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What a 1st week it was for the Cincinnati Bengals. Both highs and lows for a team that has been placed in the shadows of even the Cleveland Browns, but nonetheless, come out and put in the work on the way to a road victory against the heavily favored Seattle Seahawks. Some may say letting go of HC Pete Carroll could put this organization in perspective of what the demise of the Legion of Boom really means for this team.
HC Zach Smith said after the game that he was very pleased with his defense and the amount of pressure and containment they were able to put on Russell Wilson. He praised the play calling of DC PacMan Jones as he was able to put the team in great positions to make the most of what was a chess match for 3-1/2 quarters. The offense, which had planned to lean heavily on Joe Mixon, was quickly forced to change directions as the hopeful AFC OPOY was sidelined early on with a dislocated hip after an awkward tackle that you could only imagine in a video game. They leaned hard on the Pocket Rocket himself, Andy Dalton, as he was able to pass his way to victory with a strong performance from is top target Tyler Boyd. Boyd showed signs of greatness with a few highly contested catches and with high speed John Ross out for 3 weeks due to a shoulder tear, he will be a main focus as the Bengals look to week 2 against the San Francisco 49ers. Andy Dalton finished the game 13 of 21 with one TD to his soon to be hurt TE Tyler Eifert and a solo INT in which he "Telegraphed" right to the Seattle Defense. Joe Mixon finished with just 43 yards and a TD as he was sideline very early on and top target Tyler Boyd hauled in 6 catches for 129 yards. The defense was led by Geno Atkins, who was seen using a walker after the game, with 2 sacks and a league leading 66 yards of passing offense given up. (This will clearly not last long)
Moving on to week 2 against the 49ers, HC Smith said he hopes to hold Jimmy "GQ" to 405 yards and 4 TD's or less, but after what he's seen out of the high flying offense, it could prove to be very difficult unless he conceids after Q1. Tune in as Andy Dalton, Rodney Anderson and Tyler Boyd try to lead the Bengals out of the tunnel and, more than likely, quickly back into the tunnel tonight in their Home Opener in Cincinnati. Start Time is still undecided, but not to worry, this doesnt seem to be a sellout as PacMan Jones has recently given the Hamilton County Corrections Facility 5,000 tickets so "his homies" could attend in the End Zone known as the #LitterBox.
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