What's up skanks?!?! Time for the Mid Season POWER RANKINGS!!! I added a special state for you salty fucks. It's called ease of schedule. So don't slang your dick around like its big when you have a baby dick schedule. 1 is the hardest user schedule and 16 is the easiest.
Remember don't get BUTT HURT , GET BETTER!!!
1) BILLS (EDDIE) 7-0 SS16
I verbally abused this fuck in my first rankings, giving him the title of best user vs the CPU. Since then he has won all of his user games, including the SUPER BOWL. He read the motto and GOT BETTER!! He had the most user games so far and is still undefeated! He may have the easiest schedule, but who is going to stop him?
2) PACKERS (WILL) 7-1 SS7
This basturd won't fuck off. He is top 3 in passing and running offense, and first in points! He has solidified himself as the top player in the NFC taking out the Eagles and Bucs early in the season. He did lose to his division rival Dom. So why isn't Dom #2? Well I'll tell ya...
3) VIKINGS (DOM) 6-0 SS14
Dom has one of the easiest schedules this season. Don't worry he will still brag about being the best. NIGGA BRON BRON. This cave troll could see his first Super Bowl this year!
4) CHARGERS (AUSTIN) 6-1 SS11
This is lowest I have seen Austin on the power rankings, it's also the quitest I have seen Austin in the chat. I think he misses his true love KIFF. Don't worry pumpkin he'll be back next week. Austin did beat two users this season, but he also got the business from the Bengals. Austin is my favorite for the AFC this year. GENO and his ROOKIE WR are putting up INSANE numbers right now. He has the best offense in the league. He is going to blow some people out down the stretch.
5) RAMS (MIKE) 5-1 SS13
The Rams are still nursing that ass kicking that sent them home in the playoffs, but that might be the fire they needed to get them back into the SUPER BOWL. He is 2-1 vs user, but his one loss came from the CHAMP himself. Remember Mike, don't get out of bed for that shit..
6) BUCS (ALEC) 5-2 SS2
The one play wonder!! This guy leaves people feeling salty! He has the best run game in the league and defense will strangle you. He's looking to make a deep playoff run this year, as long as he doesn't have to face Dom again..
7) BENGALS (ZACH) 5-2 SS8
Beats Austin, but gets destroyed by Bryan. Yes I said Bryan. He put up a 50 burger on this guy. Hopefully it was just fluke, because the AFC has some tough teams in it. Zach is still a big dog. It's time to show that he can still bite..
8) EAGLES (HAK) 5-2 SS2
Tough start to the season going 0-2 vs the Bucs and Packers. He did only lose those games by one score late in the fourth. Wins are Wins and this cock monger needs to step up and get some user wins...
9) DOLPHINS 4-3 (LIJ) SS10
What had happened was... At this time last year LIJ was undefeated and sitting pretty as the 1 seed in the AFC. Things have changed. He is 1-3 vs users and now Eddie is the beast from the AFC east.
10) STEELERS 5-2 (BRYAN) SS12
Wait Bryan? Yes I said Bryan. He made it to the TOP 10.He did lose to the Raiders, but he had a HUGE win against the Bengals. He is improving with a killer record of 5-2 and is 1-1 vs users. Can he make the playoffs this year? I don't fucking know.
11) SAINTS 5-1 (WEAVER) SS9
The person I forget exsists in this league until he types something dumb as fuck.. No seriously I sat here trying to figure out why I only had 15 teams. I remembered Phil over you... Phil...
He did beat Sheed, so bad that Sheed didn't even want to talk about it. The Saints are improving. I am curious to see how he plays against some of the "big dogs".
Also Jamal Charles broke the single game TD record. (I know because he just wouldn't let it go.)
11) RAIDERS 5-3 (SHEED) SS6
This guy doesn't care about winning and it shows with his 1-3 user record. For someone who doesn't care he is salty as a mother fucker when he loses. Weaver beat him. NUFF SAID!
12) JAGUARS 2-4 (DREW) SS15
New user taking over an old team. Maybe they need to stop playing in London so he can get some fucking wins. He still has a chance to make the play-offs. Hopefully his beard has some magic because he'll need it.
13) SEAHAWKS 2-4 (ALEX) SS4
Disclaimer: I like you as a human.
Fucking Alex... He started off with 3 tough user games and gave those users 3 easy wins. He went from almost making the playoffs to almost drafting first. (There is a lot of season left, you can still draft first.) It's not the QB it's the user. Are you playing with your toes or do you have deformed thumbs. Play some fucking skill trainer and GET BETTER.
14) HOUSTON (KIFF) 1-5 SS5
One week and this bitch is back in our lives. HIS DICK IS WET AND HE IS READY TO PLAY!! BUT....His team is pure garbage, fucking horrible, the CPU could draft better... His best receiver is DWAYNE BOWE. DWAYNE FUCKING BOWE. If he comes back and makes the playoffs we will never hear the end of it. He missed 8 weeks and still has as many user games as the VIKINGS. Tough schedule ahead with Eddie, Austin, Dom, Drew, and Sheed waiting for a chance to play against a back up QB and Dwayne FUCKING Bowe.
15) COWBOYS (PHIL) 4-3 SS1
I know nothing of this Phil.
16) DUDEWHOWONTGOAWAY (NICK) 0-8 in Fantasy Football SSN/A
The only reason I like you is because FUCK DOM.
REMEMBER GUYS DON'T GET BUTT HURT GET BETTER!!!
What's up sluts? Time for some user POWER RANKINGS. Don't get butt hurt, get better!!!
1) CHARGERS (AUSTIN) 15-1
This GLORIUS BASTURD isn't going anywhere. With dominating wins over the Raiders and the Dolphins he is going into the playoffs with unbeliavable momentum. Who can stop him? My guess is no one. He is number #1 for a reason. The league villian, we need a herooooo.
2) PACKERS (WILL) 15-1
He won his division, he won his conference, will he win your hearts?
His run game is out of control and Garapolo barely throws picks. He has a tougher road to the SuperBowl than his love brother. (I hope I don't have to face him!)
3) BENGALS (ZACH) 13-2
The Bengals stalk the MFML Jungles waiting to see who his prey is.. AAANNDD It's the Raiders. Mathews has carried this team this far and he is the only one who has shown he can defeat Austin. Have we found our fuck boi hero?
4) VIKINGS (DOM) 12-4
He just won't fuck off. I heard he was the best because he beats Will, then Will beat him. I heard he was the best because he TYRANOSAURUSREKTS the CPU, then the CPU beat him. MY MY how the mighty have fallen. He has a chance for redemption against Will... if he can make it bast Alec's BUCS!!
5) EAGLES (HAK) 14-2
This bearded fuck had the easiest road to the playoffs if you believe in this shitty site. He has been talking shit like he's slanging the big dick. He will have to prove it in the playoffs. With the best WR in the league and the top defense behind him, he might be able to.
6) DOLPHINS (LIJ) 14-2
The Dolphins COULD be the best team in the MFML.. if they could just get the fuck out of their own way. They throw more picks than a blind folded Kirk Cousins vs the Legion of BOOOM. Can this team beat the BIG DOGS in the AFC? We shall see! He might have the toughest road to the SuperBowl.
7) RAMS (MIKE) 12-4
Go away. No seriously go somewhere. This is the most annoying team in the MFML didn't show up vs. the Vikings, barely showed up in the division game vs. the Seahawks... Don't worry though he will show up in the Playoffs. This team has SPOILER written all over him.
8) BUCS (ALEC) 11-5
Does even still play? I don't know if the CPU brought him to playoffs or if he was been playing his games. If it is him be afraid be very afraid. This dude is a former Super Bowl Champion and a Nightmare to play in the playoffs.
9) BILLS (EDDIE) 12-4
"Eddie is really good at beating the CPU. " Hopefully this is true. He lucks out and gets the only CPU in the playoffs, the team formerly known as Kiff's Texan's. #bringthetardback
10) RAIDERS (RASHID) 10-6
This is the most frustrating team in the playoffs. Sometimes they look great other times they hurt my eyes. Play it on QB play or blame it on Sheed for choking like Dom the first time he took Mike's 3 inches.
It all goes away if you can take Zach's Bengals in the first round.
11) SAINTS (WEAVER) 8-7 (8-8? or 9-7?)
"Maybe next year...BIG MAYBE..." Well.... I was wrong on that one, but I won't be wrong in saying the Rams will destroy the Saints. He took the "Don't get Butt Hurt, Get Better" to heart. Sorry Weav, you are getting better, but you still can't play with the big dogs.
This year's playoffs look to be filled with great games. Hopes and dreams will be destroyed, rivalries will be made or deepened, and only one will be the Champion. Will it be you?
What's up sluts? Time for some user POWER RANKINGS. Don't get butt hurt, get better!!!
1) CHARGERS (AUSTIN) 9-1
The big dog is back in prime form. You either hate him or you love him. (no one loves him) That week 3 loss to the Vikings seems like old news now. Hands down my favorite to represent the AFC in the SUPER BOWL. Number 3 in passing yards, Number 2 in points per game, Number 1 in the rankings and number 1 on your hit lists.
2) PACKERS (WILL) 9-1
This should be no surprise. Number one in the NFC. Fresh off a victory against the Vikings. He said he was going to beat him and he did. Don't be surprised to hear the fucktards screaming out FOXSPIRACY. He boasts a top 5 offense and a top 5 defense. Pray you don't see this team in the playoffs.
3) BENGALS (ZACH) 8-1
Zach and his Bengals have been quietly racking up the wins. Ryan Mathews is running like a mother fucker right now. The Bengals have the top run offense and are the only team in the AFC that can take Austin's Chargers out! This guy is 5-1 vs users with his only loss coming from the top dog himself. He will fuck you up and just plain fuck you. Watch out for this guy come playoff time!
4) VIKINGS (DOM) 8-2
Yes, the fucktard is in the top 5 despite losing his last two user games to the Raiders and Packers. Winston is putting up amazing numbers and Murray has finally been getting the rock. His defense couldn't stop an armless man from throwing all that broke ass secondary. If he can get his defense together he could be a potential Super Bowl sleeper.
5) DOLPHINs (LIJ) 8-1
This mother fucker. Snuck a win against the bad ass mother fucking beasts from the East aka the Bird Gang aka IGGLES. Honestly I can't lie this team has few weaknesses. If they can stay sober and stop throwing interceptions, they could get some wins come playoffs. They did lose to the JAGS though.....Just sayin'...
6) EAGLES (HAK) 7-2
After taking back to back heartbreaking last quarter losses this team still looks like a contender to get that playoff bye!! If Mariotta can stop throwing the deep ball like a bitch they may be able to make a run deep into the playoffs. Their no name defense has held offenses to 16 points per game (1st in the league, 54 rushing YPG (1st in the league), and 250 passing YPG (3rd in the league). STOP FUCKING HOLDING COCK SUCKERS!
7) RAMS (MIKE) 7-3
Bruh...First off let me preface this with I am a huge fan of the RAMS and Mike (Homophobe or Not). BUUUUTTT, Anyone who lets another team put up a 70 burger on him does not deserve to be in the top 5. WHICH is where he could be if the 70 burger didn't happen and NASSIB can stay healthy. That fucking guy is made of Glass. Bruh...70 points... This team will have some people feeling salty in the playoffs DONT SLEEP ON THIS TEAM!!
8) BUCS (ALEC) 7-2
This guy is a monster. I thought he was done when Kiff's Texan's got the win over him. The only reason he is 8th is he has a EASY FUCKING SCHEDULE! Cowboys and Eagles are his only tough games. Can't wait to see what he does in the playoffs though!
9) COWBOYS (COWBOY WES) 5-4
Who the fuck is this guy? Loses to the Seahawks one week, wins against the Eagles in a thriller the next week. This team is all over the place. Cowboys are in the playoffs with a WildCard right now. Hopefully they can hang on, but which Cowboys will we get in the final stretch? Seriously which one? I have no fucking idea...
10) BILLS (EDDIE) 7-3
Eddie is really good at beating the CPU. Right now he only has one user win and it's over the Jags.... Let's see how he does against his final few users. The Bills are showing improvement, but is it too little to late to make it deep into the playoffs? Hopefully he can ride Hill's coat tails to victory!
11) RAIDERS (RASHID) 6-4
Maybe Rashid should be higher than Eddie, but I don't know what the fuck is up with the Raiders! Gives Dom his first loss, but gets DESTROYED by Austin and can't beat Zach. Hit some skill trainer and get ready for the playoffs!
12) STEELERS (BRYAN) 5-5
You have the best RB in the game. FUCKING RUN THE BALL! How the fuck are you 24th in the league in rushing? The Steeler's have a chance to get their first user win against the Seahawks next week. Don't choke your so close to the playoffs!
13) SEAHAWKS (ALEX) 4-5-1
What the fuck? A TIE!?! For real? Now is the time to pull together a play-off run. Nassib is injured and Cowboy Wes is going through a mid season identity crisis. Start it off with a win against the Steelers. We love you, but 70 points bruh.....
14) TEXANS (MIFF KIFF) 5-4
I guess it's the firs time Kiff got his dick wet. He doesn't even play his fucking games. A CPU lead Colts is winning his division..Man up and win some games before you miss the playoffs. If you are SCARED of the FOXES just admit it.THIS TEAM IS ALMOST AS BAD AS THEIR USER. PLAY YOUR FUCKING GAMES.
15) SAINTS (WEAVER) 4-6
Maybe next year...BIG MAYBE...
16) JAGS (NICK) 3-6
See Kiff- minus pussy whipped +Weaver.
REMEMBER DON'T GET BUTT HURT, GET BETTER!! SEE YOU IN THE PLAYOFFS FUCKBOIS!!
I was recently informed that Kiff's Texans has onlyplayed 3 out of his last 10 games including being put on auto vs Zach. Is this because Kiff can't run his cheap ass time consuming unfun offense any longer? Is he afraid of Austin? Or is he now pussy whipped?
I contacted Kiff to get answers. A lot of the conversation should not be shared, but here is a small excerpt.
H: ...You are being pussy whipped.
K: That and school whipped.
H: That's a cop out.
H: You are giving the foxes what they want. I am disappointed.
K: Fuck you. I'm in. I'll get back on my shit. ....Fuck Dom..
So there you have it folks. Kiff say's he will dedicated to the MFML again. Will he really? Only time will tell.
We got a chance to sit down with Lij before his big game against Cowboy Wes.
H: LIJ What is your game plan going into tonights game?
L:Just go in with the same mind set as these past couple weeks. Here to execute the game plan, and play good defense and hopefully come out with the win.
H:Right now you are sitting pretty at 8-1. Do you feel like there is anyone in the AFC that can stop you?
L:I don't take any game for granted, each win was a battle and fight till the end. There's a lot of good teams out there also sitting pretty like we are. Like the chargers and Bengals. With the right game plan we gave a chance to beat those teams
H:I notice you left out your Division Rival, the Bills, and a Raiders team hot off an impressive win against Dom's Vikings. Are these teams not on your radar?
L: They're on the radar along with everyone else in the league. every team is capable of making it to the playoffs but only the elite ones make it to the SB.
Was Lij saying his division rival Eddie's Bills and Rashid's Raiders were not elite? We will leave that up to the readers.
We had an exclusive sit down with Coach Dom.
H:How do you feel going into this game Dominic?
D: I'm feeling good I've moved on from last nights game, got a fresh mind just focussed on the task at hand.
H: What do you need to do to come out with a victory tonight?
D: I feel I just have to play smart offense not turn the ball over be balanced and defensively just hold him.
H: What did you learn in your last victory against will that you can use tonight?
D: I learned that anything is possible he's just like any other madden player just gotta not let the name get to my head.
H: That's good to hear Dominic. A lot of people are saying your defense is soft and your offense can be stopped now that Rashid has showed the blue print to stop it. What do you say to those people?
D: I say to them they don't see my defense work they might think that my corners can't cover or my linebackers are slow or my d line get no pressure but I feel that's all false they work as a unit and they get the job done.. Offensively obviously everyone only thinks I throw it deep we hope to come out this week and prove to people we can be very versatile.
H: Well Dom you are going up against the second ranked pass offense in the league and your pass defense is ranked 9th what have you put in place to slow down a very hot handed garrapolo?
D: Pressure the d line has to force bad passes get jimmy rattled in the pocket make him make bad decisions.
H: On the other side of the ball you are going against the top run defense in the league. Your team has the 21st ranked run game and your offense is very one dimensional. Are you confident enough in Winston to put the game in his hands? It is a lot of pressure for a rookie quarterback coming back from injury he just hasn't looked the same.
D: Well as you saw last week he struggled but I think now that he has had 2 full weeks of practice he will go back to mvp form I'm not worried about him but if for some reason he struggled Tyrod will be more then happy to come in and take over.
H: So you are saying on live chat that Winston's job is not secure?
D: I'm saying that if he needs another week off it wouldn't harm the offense.
H: That is interesting. With latavius Murray averaging 6.7 yards per carry I would expect him to see a bigger role tonight to take some pressure of the rookie qb returning from injury. Am I correct?
D: Idk man he does his thing but it's hard to get him started we will see how we work him into the offense.
H: Thank you Dom before we end this interview is there anything you want to say to the "haters" out there?
D: I just wanna say y'all need to not underestimate I might talk a lot but I'm not a bottom tear team in this league I'm going to shock people before this franchise is over don't sleep on the Vikings.
Another loss and the Eagle's fan base is looking for an answer to why their undefeated season has turned sour.
The Philadephia Eagles have lost two straight after starting the season 7-0. Their rookie quarterback, Marcus Marriota, looked almost unstoppable the first 7 games with a completion percentage of 73% and a QBR of 139. Over the last two games he has only completed 46% of his passes and his QBR has dropped to below league average at a 76.
We sat down with Coach Hak in this exclusive MFML interview:
R: What's your opinion on Mariotta's play?
H: He is one of the top QB's in the league, as a rookie! We can't put it all on Mariotta. Our defense gave up some big plays out there and our run game was bad. We put him in positions where the game was in his hands come fourth quarter. He has secured victories in the fourth before, but he shouldn't have to. Definitely not in back to back games.
R: In your division game against the Cowboys they scored 24 unanswered points to win the game. What happened to your offense?
H: That was embarrassing. They made some adjustments after halftime and we just couldn't get anything going. McCoy showed why he is one of the top running backs in the league. They played a good game. I know Kendricks was extremely upset.
R:In your loss against the Dolphins your defense gave up 17 points early in the first half. That is 31 points unanswered in 4 quarters. How did your defense step up to shut them out in the second half?
H: I see you like math. We spoke about it during halftime and the guys reacted how I knew they would. Kendricks being the leader on this defense stepped up his play and our secondary shut down the Dolphins allstar receiving core.
R: With two heart breaking losses in a row, how do you plan on not making it three?
H: Well the Dolphins loss came down to a tough penalty in the last 40 seconds. That's how it plays out sometimes. We should not of let them get in a position to win so early in the game. We made adjustments and we feel that our team will step up to the challenge and get back on track. The Bucs are a tough team, but we are going to show we aren't the finesse team that the media keeps calling us.
The Eagles play the Buccaneers this week and it is looking to be a show down of epic proportions.