Oakland tribune - breaking a news....Raiders have traded away next years 1st Rd pick for DE DeMarcus Lawrence. "This mans a baller we saw the opportunity so we took it, shooters shoot" - coach Dougalicious. Considering Raiders win loss record giving up what's sure to be a top 5 pick is a lot but needed to get some pressure on the QB. We're hoping to turn this around start eating some W's 

Oakland Tribune - With Raiders struggling at QB and the draft nothing but garabge the Raiders looked to the baseball world and signed 3rd basemen Tim Griffin. Tim is part of the Griffin QB family that produced RG3. Tim Griffin was playing 3rd base for the washington nationals farm system when the Raiders came calling. Dude throws the football like he's still at 3rd base but so far Raiders brass as been impressed with what they've seen this season. With deep in the cycle and everyone having superhuman CB's just need to get the int numbers down

Oakland Tribune - The raiders have parted ways with Superstar HB Jacobs. The ghost of Al Davis said we need more speed, so Raiders used top 10 pick on HB Sellers. We liked the kid until he pulled his groin at the club in the Champaign room. Jacobs was class act we wish him nothing bet the best in Pitt. Many teams inquired about Jacobs but Pittsburgh brought strong offer sending old af but stud DT Tuitt along with a fast DE and 2nd Rd pick so we had to pull the trigger. Accounting was thrilled as it's another guy we gotta resign but we'll make it work 

Nasty Nati Tribune - Touchdown Tommy will be taking his talents to the Nasty Nati. In an interesting move the Bengals brass has lured the long time Chowd outta retirement and to Ohio of all places. “I’m not really sure what happened, we were all rippin shots getting lubed up at the Script club. Next thing I know I wake up with a signed contract next to bed, 25mil a year least I’m getting paid, strait cash homie” - Tom Brady. The move is somewhat a surprise considering current QB Reitz is a young gun slinger running the show right now. “Injuries happen, it’s next man up,we need to be prepared” said GM Dougalicious_ 

Nasty Nati Tribune - Well another season and some thing don’t change. Bengals were riddled with injuries last year and again same story this year. “We can’t figure out what’s happening other than madden hates us” GM Dougalicious_ bengals totally revamped their off season work outs, brought in new speed and strength coach Shawn T but still same results. All experience and training goes to preventing injury and we still got the stars dropping. Next man up in Cini 

Nasty Nati Tribune - At the end of last season Jordan Evans was slapped with a 4 game PED suspension. When’s rumors surfaced about the young linebacker taking deep sea fishing trips to the Dominican with Aroid and Marc McGuire we didn’t think anything of it. Turns out he was hitting the juice hard. Evans was back in action week 4 against the Browns and proved maybe he’s still juicing as he balled out hard recording 5 tackles, 2 sacks and 3 ints. Look for Evans to continue to lead this young bengals D 

Nasty Nati Tribune - As we look back on the ridiculiously injured 2017 for the Bengals we can’t help but be proud of the Mash unit results. Team won back to back division titles dispite losing both O tackles, TE Effert, superstars HB Mixon and WR Ross for most entire season. Guys balled out won the division played competitive game against the Colts just came down to 3-4 stupid reads/plays cost us the game. Offseason we didn’t really see much changes HB Blount tried to leave but nobody wanted his old ass so he’s back in camp. With 10TD’s last season coach happy to have him back. Prize FA pickup was OT Jake Mathews guy came at a price but looking for Mixon to have a big year and couldn’t resist adding the all pro. With only 5 picks in the draft bengals needed to hit and looks like came out OK. “ We’re pretty excited about the guys we drafted this year, watching the combine numbers of RE Pierce Goodson made my man parts move and get excited. He was high on our board and thrilled to have fall to us at 23! We got a big ugly some depth in secondary and like this kid Klon Trent as a sleeper in linebacker.” - GM Dougalicious_ Will the bengals 3 peat as division title? Will the entire team get hurt again only time will tell, stay tuned into the Nasty Nati Tribune for all your jungle updates 

Nasty Nati Tribune - “that one hurt, I’d like to say Madden went in dry but it was dumb coaching that cost us” - Coach Ickey Woods. Bengals had a tough matchup against undefeated Raiders n coach ThatDude. Raiders are a great team and coached by solid great player. While Bengals brass has yet to beat ThatDude the guys rose up like a fatty at a buffet n balled so hard. “It was probably our best team game of the year and tough loss on players and fans. With Raiders out of timeouts the clock ticking and Bengals in field goal range the game was won or so we thought. “There was some wind we thought we’d grind out extra couple yards and center the kick, I really have no idea why our backup HB was in there” - Ickey Woods. What happened next will live in Raider fans folklore forever. HB Gio Bernard took the snap quick juke than boom Hit stick ball pops out n like Herm Edwards ThatDude scoops n scores n games over. Just a heartbreaker 

Nasty Nati Tribune - Smoke em if you got em, well in a suprise move Bengals brass pulled out their rolling papers and acquired Legarrette Blount. If we know anything about Bengals GM Dougalicious_ it's that he loves speed not big slower powerbacks. Not to mention Blount enters an already crowded backfield with pro bowler Mixon and backup Gio Bernard. "It was late in FA I looked up n saw Blount sitting there. We liked him in college, remember him scoring bunch of TD's for NE so thought fck it let's take a flyer on him" - GM Dougalicious_

Nasty Nati Tribune - The rose is still in bloom on the Bengals season as they survived the wild card matchup with Chiefs. Chiefs got the ball to start and what shoulda been a pick 6 but CB dropped the pass turned into a long TD drive for the chiefs (missed extra point). Bengals held serve and answered with great drive and TD of their own. Bengals were up 13-6 and looked to be the favorite until everybody's favorite QB to hate on threw a pick 6 to Eric Barry, a 2pt conversation n Chiefs had all the momentum. 2 story lines started to unfold, Gio and Burfict. Gio as the backup HB was feeling it saved his best game for the playoffs. Gio busted out 10 carries with 2 TD's. Burfict has had an interesting season with it being a contract year the Bengals told him he's probably walking he got pissed. Burfict went strait Savage on a day the D forced zero turnovers but Burfict had count em 5 sacks, ball so hard. Bloom on the rose probably goes stale next week as Bengals play the talented and well respected ThatDude. Been in couple of leagues couple of years with ThatDude and he's always in the hunt for or winning superbowls. Bengals playing with house money here on out

Nasty Nati Tribune - Well folks your unpredictable Bengals appear to be going to the playoffs. After a couple late season curb stompings playoffs we thought we're all but a pipe dream but looks like dreams do come true. The bengals with no practice time we never know what team will show up from game to game even what plays will show up for that matter. While we predict a real life Bengals move of an early exit is probably the case you never know. "Just gotta get in, once you at the dance anything can happen" GM Dougalicious_

Nasty Nati Tribune - The Bengals held onto what little playoff hopes they had left by upsetting NFC north div leader Minnesota Vikings while on the road. The game was sloppy by both offensive coordinators neither team could get anything going early. Just when the season seemed over the D decided to ball the fck out n get turner over after turnover. When all was said in done the Bengals D forced 6 int's and 1 fumble to salvage the season. Offense still couldn't make much with the turnovers as Vikings D was just too good. Bengals coach Ickey Woods decided to play Tressel ball and just let the offense try not to turnover and do just enough to win. Will the Bengals make the playoffs wil they lose out only time will tell. Bengals wrap up their season surprisingly with 2 more NFC North teams 

Nasty Nati Tribune - Bengals climb above .500 mark for first time this season in thanks to their D forcing turnovers. "We brought in some young hungry dawgs n they eating" said Coach Ickey Woods. The bengals while a young roster are in a bit of nomans land. Are they rebuilding are contending only time will tell. Next week the Bengals D faces a tough challenge with the potent Broncos offense. The Bengals are still learning how to play and working on their team identity. 

Nasty Nati Tribune - When the season began GM Dougalicious_ does what he do and looked over his linebacking core :40 times. Immediately when we saw a 79spd we thought that guy had to go regardless of his other skill set. With a 79spd accompanied by a contract year OLB Vontez Burfict was sent to the chopping block. As it turns out Burfict got injuried and while his trade value was red hot Bengals made other moves that forced him to stay on the roster. While Burfict was injuried he hit the weights and the juice hard I'm talking Lattimer hard. We caught up with bengals speed and strength coach and ex MLB player supplement provider "Dudes a beast built like a Mac truck with a fever for pain" After some roster moves coach Ickey Woods was forced to play Burfict in he delivered. We were watching the game unfold and kept saying Dam who's that #55 out there laying wood. Even the late great Hugh Hefner would be proud the way this guy goes to poundtown. So now the top brass is torn, do we trade him, do we sign him, do we tag him? Lotta questions remain but what we do know is he was last seen lifting with Sosa and McGwire