"?Hello everyone, I'm Jim and we are live with Oakland sports radio, bringing you the latest in bay area news. With the 2017-18 regular season over, the Oakland Raiders have finished 14-2 and securing a 1st round bye. With a suprising improvement in pass coverage, the Raiders finished #1 in pass defense and interceptions. The pass defense undoubtedly benefited from the pass rush that finished with a solid 44 sac..."
" No, it was 44 sacks by one person Jim"
"Khalil Mack had 44 sacks!?!?!?!"
"No, Jihad Ward finished with 44 sacks"
" Who the fuck is that? Alright, Joey Ward finished with 44 sacks to lead the Oakland Raiders defense. On offense, Connor Cook came back from injury and did well enough to make pro bowl because every QB besides a few had twice as many picks as touchdowns. The rookie sensation Isaiah Ford finished the season with 100 Receptions, 1,792 Yards, 23 receiving TD, and 7 Rushing Touchdown but still finished 3 in RoTY. Now that's some bull shit."
Coming into the season, Oakland Raiders fans were excited to see Derek Carr lead the team in an MVP type season. However, during the preseason, Carr was acting like a little bitch in the locker room so he got benched for 2nd Year QB Connor Cook. After being benched, Carr began terrorizing the locker room including eating Marshawn Lynch's skittles, placing Aldon Smith's bomb in Jihad Ward's locker, and stealing Michael Crabtree's Gold chain. While this was happening Cook was preparing for his first NFL start against the Tennessee Titans. The Raiders blew out the Titans and Cook threw for 5 TDs but the real star of the game was Rookie WR Isaiah Ford, a 7th round pick out of Virginia Tech that was signed to the Raiders practice squad in Week 4 of the Preseason. Ford hauled 10 receptions for 200 yards and 3 TDs. Determined not to be a fluke, Ford came out against the Jets to once again lead the team in Yards even with Connor Cook getting injured. Yup, the new starting QB was injured so Carr had to come in right? Nope, he still a bitch so Ej Manuel would start the next game as Ford continued his rampage. With 226 Yards in week 3, Ford became the favorite for RoTY with 30 receptions for 658 yards and 6 TDs in the first 4 weeks. Trade rumors began to surface involving Carr, possible destinations reported were San Francisco, Baltimore, Philadelphia, and New York. Carr expressed his interest in playing in a warm weather city but fuck him so he was sent to Baltimore. Carr was packaged into a dog crate and sent to Baltimore for CJ Mosley, Ronnie Stanley, and a 1st Round Pick. With only one active QB on the roster, the Raiders would make a controversial signing for Colin Kaepernick. Before the game Kaepernick, Manuel, and the two guys on the team that are good at kicking the ball would kneel on the sideline and play duck duck goose to see who would start Kaepernick would win because he has 85 speed and got the start against the Broncos but struggled to find a rhythm so Ej Manuel would be brought in to close out the game. The Raiders are 4-0 now with 3 different starting QBs and a defense leading the lead in sacks. With 6 different players with over 2 sacks in the first 4 weeks, the Raiders pass rush looks to carry the defense to top 5 in the league.