After a pitiful showing in the opener against the Texans, Coach/GM Jimi decided he had seen enough. We caught up with him after the game and asked him to share his thoughts. "Yep. You guy all saw it. David's out there like Uncle Rico heaving balls as far as he can just to show off his so-called 'Bazooka' of an arm. This guy has thrown 140 picks in 3 seasons. I couldn't take it anymore so I called up Coach Drizzi of the Rams because I know he doesn't give a shit about anything and asked him to take him off my hands. He was more than happy to as he proceeded to scream 'fuck Odell'. At that point the deal was done. We love Odell, always have. His values and morals align with ours here in Bmore. He will fit in perfectly."
Coach Jimi also proceeded to take a few shots at his 2 stud DE's Donald and Bosa. "Did you see these 2 out there today? This Oline from Houston is loaded with bum after bum after bum and the 2 'supposed' best pass-rushers in this league are out there slow-dancing with them like it's prom. It was pathetic. If Commissioner Mac didn't enforce the trade limit, one of these 2 guys would've been on the same flight with David. Christmas is right around the corner though and Commish Mac is a pretty giving guy from what I've noticed. If we're so fortunate to get another trade, one of these bums can say bye-bye to Bmore. They can find someone else to dance with."
Afterwards, we caught up with David Bonner (aka Uncle Rico) as he exited the Ravens lockerroom for the last time. "I gave this imposter of a coach is lone playoff win in 10 years and he wants to call me out and then trade me?" His record since he started in 2010 is 140-660. How he continues to have anything to do with football is beyond me. His playcalling is streak, streak, streak and then another streak. I feel bad for all the players on this team. Player who come to Baltimore just and rot and die. Every last one of them. I'm just one of the lucky one's who's getting out before it was too late. I hope Bosa and Donald aren't far behind."
The Ravens take on the Steelers tonight at 10 pm est with a new offense that he thinks will catch the entire league off guard. "I'm not sure what we're gonna do yet, but you can be sure it's gonna be damn good. Unlike anything this league has ever seen. Plus, I got Coach Huss figured out. He's in for an upleasant surprise tonight. Tonight the Ravens season begins and the AFC North and the entire league will be put on notice"
Despite getting trounced TWICE by their division rival Baltimore Ravens, the Bengals are on their way to the playoffs for the first time (and quite possibly last). Enjoy it Bengals fans! It's going to be a very short ride!