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Giant Shits: How HC AJ Newbs Turned a Pile of Shits into a Murkier Pile of Shits #5 WACKY WILDCARD

by LittleNewbs | 3 years ago | 0 Comments

    SUPER Wildcard Weekend, baby. There's no way the Giants win... right? Especially vs a powerhouse like the Lions...

    WRONG!! THE VICTORY IS OURS!!! And holy shit was it a crazy game. The entire game was mirrored from the first half to the second. First half: Defense played like the little tiny balls of excrement they are, and offense had to keep pace with the shootout that Detroit was forming. Then in the second half, Detroit's defense got stout-er, however, their offense completely broke down.

    We don't even need to focus on how Daniel Jones (the biggest piece of shit on the team. I literally cannot believe how much I fucking hate this guy. This white fuck needs to leave, and that's a goddamn order) went for 270 Yards, 4 TDs and 1 INT. We don't even need to TALK about how Saquon went for 118 on the ground and 71 in the air for 3 TDs. WE DON'T EVEN NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW EVAN ENGRAM WENT FOR 141 YARDS AND 1 TD! No... No no no no no. All we need to talk about is...

    DEFENSE! Holy mother of dog shit, our defense stepped UP! 7 turnovers total, 4 or 5 coming in the 2nd half alone. Our DB crew cleaned the fuck up today. Forcing two fumbles and four INTs total. The front seven also emerged from out of the toilet they belong in and got a total of 3 sacks.

    Next up, we've either got WFT (ez fucking dub) if Panthers win, however, if they lose, we charge into Green Bay or San Francisco for (most likely) Our finale LOL. Either way, Saquon and Brenton need to step up if we're going to keep winning. Anyway, 1 down, 3 to go!

 

    Current Surprises:

Daniel Jones was good for the second week in a row. Third time's a charm...? Dear god I'm scared of this man sabotaging our entire team.

Saquon Barkley had an incredible game. Why am I talking about this? This isn't a surprise.

Azeez Ojulari had a sack or two in the last two games as well. The youngsters have ACTUALLY come to play

Adoree Jackson had a fucking INSANE game! He's coming out of his shit cast and being reborn

James Bradberry IV is actually the strongest player in the entire NFL. Force more fumbles please. Please.