Giant Shits: How HC AJ Newbs Turned a Pile of Shits into a Murkier Pile of Shits #4 ROOKIE EDITION

by LittleNewbs | 3 years ago | 0 Comments

    HOLY GIANT SHIT! We've finished the regular season with a W for the first time in... lets just say a long time. Gudda may have made us wait, but we sure made him pay, winning the game 42-21!

    Daniel Jones gave his older brother the controller because godDAMN he was on fire! 217 for 4 TDs and 0 INTS!!!!!! Literally never before seen action from Danny. We literally need to play like this in our next game, because WE'RE IN THE PLAYOFFS!!!

    Saquon was a bit of a non-factor today. In his place we had JRIII and Evan Engram step up to the plate. Both combined for 174 yards and 3 TDs. Saquon said he had "cramps". Yeah cramps my ass, guy's over here lookin like Lamar Jackson. Hopefully he can take a fat shit and get back to normal because GODDAMN he sucked.

    OH MY GOD OUR YOUNGSTERS STEPPED UP TO THE PLATE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER (besides Brenton. Love you baby, stay ready for playoffs). Artie Patton had his coming out party today as he had 2 sacks, most in his career so far. Azeez and Dexter also had a sack each. Defense went crazy. Aaron Bailey, second year MLB, had his first ever INT of his career and it was a great one.

    Terrell Edmunds told us "WTF IS ALL THIS SHIT WITH BrEnToN??? MAN HAS ONE GOOD YEAR AND YOU JERK HIM OFF FOR IT??? BITCH I GOT 5 FF, 5 INTs AND A TD!!" And he sure backed that up today! 1 Fumble, 1 INT and a TD today!

Current Surprises:

Daniel Jones didn't play like the Gigantic pile of an elephant's regurgitated shit today

Saquon Barkley took Daniel Jones' spot as the biggest piece of crap on the team. His "cramps" should be gone tomorrow

Artie Patton with his new superstar ability had 2 sacks on the day and combined with his DL teammates for 5 on the day

Aaron Bailey caught the first INT of his career

Terrell Edmunds is getting his name talked about again with a FF and an INT on the day