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Giant Shits: How AJ Newbs Turned a Pile of Shits Into a Murkier Pile of Shits: #2 (nice)

by LittleNewbs | 3 years ago | 0 Comments

    A bit sketchy at first, but defecation reigns supreme vs The Cheesesteaks. Daniel Jones, this game, has an INT/TD ratio worse than Mr. 30/30. God I hate this man. I will find any way possible to shit on Daniel Jones. Dude is so bad he makes Cameron Heyward look like his former 92 overall self.

    Speaking of which, the literal old ass, rickety ass skeleton (with 330 lbs on muscle) himself scored big with 2 sacks on the day. Wtf? With Artie patton and Azeez Ojulari off the edge, how the FUCK is the man older than Moses getting more sacks in a game? Insanity.

    As per usual, Sir. Saquon Barkley keeps this bag of shits afloat like a fucking clogged toilet. Over 200 APYDs is just normal for him. I believe he's first in MVP votes so far, as well as being the league's second leading rusher (and the Giant's 3rd highest in receiving yards).

    The man, the myth, the... well, he's a man... uhhhhh.... BRENTON. HE IS THE ALMIGHTY SAVIOR! HE SHALL RAISE THIS TEAM FROM THE ASHES OF LAST SEASON AND FORCE A FUMBLE A GAME FROM NOW TILL THE END OF TIME! He forced another one against Philly. Did we capitalize on it? I have no clue LMAO, but he sure did it. Could've gotten an INT but he couldn't quite get there. He's strong, but a statue (but a greek statue that's fucking shredded)

    Going up against WFT now with a new head coach. We're going to try our absolute DAMNDEST to win. This is for the division (most likely). Graham Gano will most likely be sitting this one out due to his PTSD. All he sees now is Chase Young. That's why his kick power has been dropping. Every time he steps up, he sees the glowing yellow eyes of Young. Rookie Greg McLean shall be starting! Lord help us vs Gibson

    Current Surprises:

Greg McLean (R) will be starting vs WFT due to PTSD

Cameron Heyward recorded 2 sacks last game, Azeez Ojulari leads the team with 6

Artie Patton received Secure Tackler as his first superstar ability. Not bad!