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Giant Shits: How AJ Newbs Turned a Pile of Shits Into a Murkier Pile of Shits

by LittleNewbs | 3 years ago | 0 Comments

    Disgusting. The New JERSEY Giants were fucking disgusting. Never wanted to set my eyes on them... Ever.

    But seeing as the two teams left available when I joined were the PATRIOTS (ew, wtf?) or the Giant Shits? Like how am I not going to take the steaming hot pile of poop. Seems like a cut and dry case to me.

    I think we'll skip over the year I lost to Rice and DEFINITELY skip over the year I missed playoffs and we'll just fast forward to right now. Week 15, baby. Our Giants are currently 10-4, with playoff hopes heightened after last year's fiasco. If we win 2/3 of our last games, we should be good to go! That being said, HC Gudda is always (usually... Sometimes.... occasionally?) a tough opponent, so we can't take any game for granted

    Current Surprises:

SAQUON BARKLEY IS RUSHING! I REPEAT! SAQUON BARKLEY IS RUSHING. With 1,500+ Rushing yards on the year and almost 3,000 all purpose, it's safe to say he's carrying our team. No matter what Danny Dimes fans have to say. God Daniel sucks... He's the biggest piece of shit on this team.

Leanord Williams: This man has not set foot on the football field since Week 2, I believe. He's an absolute stud, but with the signing of Cameron Heyward and Dexter Lawrence being resigned, there's just not really room for him on our 4-3 team. 

John Ross III: Holy fuck I love this dude. If there was a shiniest turd on this team, it's absolutely John Ross III. Man has snagged 1,300+ yards this year. The closest actual receiver being Kenny G (sax) at around 500... He's been a real asset to our team and there's no way I trade him any time soon.

Brenton Porter: THIS GUY!!!! 5 Fumbles, 5 TFLs, 40+ Tackles... Should be DROY by FAR. Absolute breakout season (with no actual breakouts). He's an absolute stud. Being a box safety playing deep, he's able to sprint downhill, full speed, and knock the soul out of whomever has the ball. He's practically a fucking mercenary. 

Graham Gano: Unfortunately, we'll be saying goodbye to Mr. Gano after this season. Gano has made a significant impact on our team, but the way it's looking, his kick power is only going to go down. So say hello to...

Greg McLean: Rookie 93 KPW. Enough said.

 

Well, I'll see you all after the Eagles game. Should be fun! Unless we lose. Everyone knows Madden is ONLY fun when you win