Drinking The Yaterade - Season 85 Predictions
by AST1N | 1 year ago | 0 Comments
A time to be thankful. Thankful to the family and friends I have. Thankful to be born in the greatest country on earth (Right, Greg??). Thankful for my health. And thankful to not be in the AFC North and NFC South, my opinion of the two least fun to play divisions in the league. And thankful to you all, because without you all, I would have way too much free time on my hands to possibly be more productive in my life.
Recap time!
Back home
One of the storylines this upcoming offseason will be what Pat does with his QBs. Well, what he does with the one he should have been keeping this whole time. Oden will never be Burrow. But Pat would rather pay a $25M cap penalty to HOPEFULLY trade him this offseason. If I was to pick who, I think pairing him with Glenn in New Orleans would be a great fit, and I would love to see if getting a guy like Joe would help him overcome his INT woes, which really is the biggest thing that holds him back from more success. Plus, I hear Joe is pretty familiar with that region from his days at LSU.
Glenn said “Why go get an elite QB, when I could be mediocre with a mediocre QB in Kenny Pickett?” Pickett (80 OVR, 27 years old) cost Glenn a 3rd and two 4ths, and while this most recent draft class was not one to write home to mom about, Glenn also could have taken one of the 2 star dev QBs drafted in the 5th round (NE Bryan Price, DET Michael Henley) and kept his other picks to use elsewhere, and they will surely be just as good or better than Pickett will be.
Burrow found his new home in LA, and has been getting the dog shit kicked out of him week in and out. Cool Joe deserves better than all this.
Coming up a bit short
Kyler Murray and a short joke?! I am sure you’ve never seen that done before. After a disappointing Season 83 in which Kyler got hurt and missed time, we have seen Kyler get hurt two more times this most recent season, as the red birds start 1-3 on the season. I don’t have a lot of confidence Kyler makes it the whole season, and if they stay on course with how it looks right now, JP might need to take a darkness retreat to really think about if Kyler is a part of the problem or the solution to competing moving forward. After this season, I think he will start entering the financial point where he can afford to move on and start fresh.
The Cardinals finished the season at 8-9, but Kyler regressed this past season, throwing 6 less TDs and 1 more INT, while attempting nearly 100 more passes than the previous year. You could blame the moo’s for taking a step backwards, but I attribute their decline in the fact that Coach Panos got a new toy in the backfield he wanted to play with. I think they ride out the cycle with Kyler still, but this team needs to do something to get out of this .500 rut they keep finding themselves in.
Mops, Aisle 6
This is a bold one. 49ers QB George Curran gets hurt at some point in the season. Jake questions why the world has it out for him, and wonders if it’s him or the team that is cursed. Chat feels bad, but also gets quality entertainment out of watching pain flow through both Curran’s body and Jake’s mental well-being. We aren’t perfect people for being entertained by travesty, okay!?
Bold take, and still nailed it. Now if you told me that he would get hurt IN THE SUPERBOWL AND JAKE WOULD STILL WIN, I would tell you to clean yourself up, because drugs hurt not only yourself, but those around you. But kudos to Jake for fighting through adversity. (Is it time to retire the Jake-complex jokes??)
Season 85 Top 5 Draft Order
(I don’t know if they have their picks, and I am too lazy to look.)
New England Patriots
Denver Broncos
LA Rams
Pittsburgh Steelers
Seattle Seahawks
(Side note: I was appalled to see the Cowboys at 3-1 and Giants at 1-3.)
Actual draft order: Patriots, Broncos, Rams, [Steelers, Saints, Packers tied for 4-6]. Seahawks shocked me by going 9-8, so I gotta hand it to Longville for proving me wrong.
Stop it already
Simple and easy one. Sometimes I feel like I need one of these. The Bucs won’t go 20-0 again. You all can relax.
16-1 with a playoff loss on top of it. I will gladly take it.
Season 84 Offensive Rookie of the Year
QB George Curran, San Francisco 49ers
Injury aside, I think the voters look at what he did all season and give him the nod. I also think there will be some guys that will be nominated that will cause some voters to not like their usage and refuse to give them votes.
Easiest prediction ever. This one didn’t even need listed on the ballot.
Season 84 Defensive Rookie of the Year
LB David Knight, Chicago Bears
Currently leads all rookies in tackles and sacks, from the MLB position. Add a couple of INTs this season and he will make this an easy race. I am impressed with Jabari Stewart in LAR, as he was one of the guys in the draft with a big draft profile.
2/2! This might be the first time I have got both ROTYs correct since doing these articles.
Season 84 Offensive Player of the Year
HB Dalvin Cook, Tennessee Titans
I think Dalvin will be fighting with a few QBs for this honor, but if he stays healthy, look for 2,200 total yards and flirts with 20 TDs.
Dalvin Cook in Season 84: 2,065 total yards, 24 TDs
All that work just to not even end up on the voting ballot. Moji would complain more about it, but then it would just fit into the narrative that he complains too much.
Season 84 Defensive Player of the Year
FS Kevin Byard, Tennessee Titans
I think people will see INTs being more impactful than sacks (they are), and he will get the nod over some 20+ sack guys. I like his abilities, and I like the chances he will to rack up the turnovers.
Apparently this cycle is going to favor TFLs and sacks, as 3 of the top 5 vote getters were defensive linemen, and we saw a guy get 18 INTs in the season and only get 5 1st place votes out of 32.
Season 84 Most Valuable Player
QB Patrick Mahomes, Kansas City Chiefs
He avoids injury, he avoids suspension, he brings home more hardware.
If the awards come out on time, Mahomes wins this. Patty actually had more 1st place votes than Curran (15 to 11).
Season 84 Super Bowl
Tennessee Titans 32, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 31
Moji gets a final drive down 7, scores under :30 seconds remaining, and takes a page out of Trent’s book to go for 2 to knock out the former champ.
After a season of me saying Moji might stink, I then go on to proclaim he wins offensive and defensive players of the year and win the Super Bowl. Instead, he loses to Jim in the Wild Card round. Any given Sunday, I guess!
Time for a new season, new me.
A New Threat to the AFC
Lately, when you think about who might be representing the AFC, most people will flock to the AFC West and the occasional very smart predictions of the Titans. The Colts have been a fun story as well. Today I am going to throw in a dark horse to this contest: the Jacksonville Jaguars. Trevor Lawrence is a very talented Madden QB, and Spittah’s CPU GM has helped him draft WRs in back to back drafts. Pair that with Etienne, the Jaguars are turning into a very fun offense. Time will tell if Terry can replicate his offensive success he had in Cincy just a few seasons ago, but he is headed on that path. The AFC S will be a fun one to watch.
I Hate It Here
The Bucs are going 17-0 this season. With 12 games remaining, they only have the Bears, Falcons, Panthers, and Jets left as teams with winning records. Don’t hold your breath, because you will be waiting at least 13 weeks for them to get some real chances at losing.
King of the North
5 weeks into the season, and the Vikings already have a 2 game lead in the NFC North, as they sit 5-0 on the season. They also sit at 3-0 on the season in divisional games, and have the 2nd highest point differential in the league. This one is a wrap; the other 3 NFC teams can throw in the towel now. Who knew that you just needed to trade your two best offensive weapons on your first day on the job to get to this point. [Takes notes]
Oden? More like Odumb.
Don’t look now, but the Bengals are 1-4 on the season, are 31st in passing offense, and 29th in scoring. Sure, losing Jamarr Chase for the first 6 games doesn’t help, but neither does losing you’re All-Pro QB and moving to 2nd year QB Gerald Oden. Oden is only completing 58% of his passes thus far, and has yet to eclipse 1k yards so far. With the Burrow trade, the Bengals whiffed on their pick (3rd pick overall) in taking Donnie Stover, an outside linebacker from Ohio State. Stover was tied for the 3rd worst OVR rating for ALL players picked in the 1st round, and you hate to see that for a guy who is already 23 years old. Stover has 3 total tackles in 5 games so far, and he really is JAG (Just A Guy). Raise your hands if you saw this one coming.
Season 85 Offensive Rookie of the Year
WR Ray Kennedy, Tennessee Titans
There are quite a few options this year at HB/WR, and QB Conrad Swift hasn’t wowed me quite yet. When in doubt, go with the #1 pick in the draft.
Season 85 Defensive Rookie of the Year
OLB J.C. Pettis, Minnesota Vikings
Pettis wasn’t even the top pick for the Vikings. He wasn’t even the top defender they took. Safety Jameel Albert is an absolute stud and game wrecker, but Pettis is a guy who is doing everything at the moment.
Season 85 Offensive Player of the Year
WR Rashee Rice, Kansas City Chiefs
Sure Adel traded for AJ Brown. Little did Brown know he was just going take the small plays and let Rice do all the big plays. Rice is going to get 2k yards on the season. He has 630 on the season, and that includes a 1 catch for 12 yards in a simmed game. You can do the math.
Season 85 Most Valuable Player
QB Patrick Mahomes, Kansas City Chiefs
Assuming the awards ballot is released before Adel gets eliminated.
Season 85 Superbowl
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 41, Kansas City Chiefs 28
You have to take the best odds here.