Drinking the Yaterade - Season 84 Predictions

by AST1N | 1 year ago | 0 Comments

One season in the books this cycle. For a rocky start with all stats websites unavailable, to a coach off the rails who just couldn’t cut it, to cheating scandals, it was one for the ages. And yet, excitement stayed high, and media was popping. Just proves the resiliency of this league, and the love that we have for it.

Now after guys have had their teams for a full season and made necessary (or in some cases unnecessary) changes to the foundation of their organization, it’s time to see who really has what it takes to build a championship contender, and who will start falling behind.

Before we get into that, you know what time it is…. Season 83 review!

 

So many FNGs…

Let’s recap all of the new guys we have added to this cycle, and my predictions on how Season 83 will play out for them:

Boom, New England Patriots: 5-12

I think he will struggle with finding playmakers on offense, and Mac Jones is a huge liability.

Well, he’s definitely struggling to find playmakers, as he is roaming the streets looking for a new organization to bring him in.

Tohn, Denver Broncos: 4-13

One of the toughest divisions in the league, and Russ is cooked.

Who woulda guessed 4 wins was giving them too much credit. Good grief!

L2D, Minnesota Vikings: 8-9

While technically new and not new, I think he benefits from being in a weaker conference, and having some prior experience in the league years ago.

10-7 isn’t too far off, but I think I can speak for most people that no one would have seen this team getting double digit wins after trading away his two best weapons on offense.

VC, New York Giants: 10-7

WHAT? Yes. This is going to happen. I believe the Giants have some well-rounded pieces, and I see the division as being winnable. I wouldn’t be shocked to see him in the playoffs in his first year.

11-5-1. He won the division, and don’t forget that I was a believer since day one!

Don, Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 6-11

When Donny can keep his INTs down, he plays pretty well. However, Trey Lance might not help him out and I am willing to bet his backup is coming into the game at least 5 times this season.

I mean, he did keep his INTs down…. But hear me out! I WAS BAMBOOZLED! In the 7 charted games in the preseason, Don threw 10 TDs and EIGHTEEN INTs, with 4/7 games being three pick sits. I only made predictions on what I knew, and this man said let’s just mess with your mind for a bit.

Albrxght, LA Rams: 2-15

I will just say it as it is, the Rams roster is horrible. Any coach would struggle with them, so it doesn’t help going to a brand new guy. It’s crazy to think this team won a SB just a few years ago.

NAILED IT!

King of the West

All the talk leading up to this cycle has been “Adel is going to run the AFC”. So let’s get spicy here on this one. The Kansas City Chiefs will be the 5 seed in the AFC. I think RAMESU and the CHARGERS will ultimately win the AFC West. While the Chiefs have some top heavy dominance, I think the Chargers are top to bottom one of the best teams in the league. Want to try to shut down Mahomes? Well good thing the Chargers have two elite pass rushers (Mack, Bosa), THREE corners 80+ OVR, and some guy named Derwin James. These games will be fun to watch.

Ugh. So close. Chargers finished 1 game back from winning it. Maybe if Mahomes was unintentionally bugged to have perfect passing on throws on the move, this would have come to fruition. Thanks EA.

Speaking of tough divisions….

The AFC South will be the closest one to call. I could see a case where any of the 4 teams winning the division. If you force me to pick one team now, I might take the Jaguars, but I think it could come down to Week 17 to make the final decision.

The AFC South did not disappoint (well except for Houston, they disappointed me going 5-12 AFTER adding Justin Jefferson), but we saw this division being the only one with 3 teams with double digit wins.

A tale of two conferences

7 seed in the AFC: 11 wins might be needed

7 seed in the NFC: Break .500

The biggest notable difference between the conferences is really going to be telling at the bottom. When we look back on the season, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if the NFC has 7 out of 10 of the worst records in the league.

The AFC saw two 10 win teams miss the playoffs. All the NFC had to do was… break .500 (Saints got the 7 seed at 9-7-1, the 8 seed finished .500)

The bottom 10 were split 5/5, but we also saw the Patriots losing a coach after starting 5-1 and losing 11 straight, and then they had the Las Vegas Tankers throwing their hat into the race.

It’s like Shaq in a compact car

What do I mean by that? Simply, it’s a bad fit. While he has been known historically as one of the top users in the league, I hate the team he ended up with and I believe it is not set up in the way he is known for. The user I am talking about is Moji. I don’t believe the personnel group he has meshes with his style of play, and I could see him struggling off and on all season trying to make it work. I also think he will end up moving on from Will Levis, and there will be some lowly sap out there willing to give him picks next season to take him in (as they hope they can do a better job with him). It’s a tale as old as time.

Alright, hear me out. When I think of Moji and his gameplay, I don’t think “young QB who needs developed, with a power run game.” However, he made it work, thanks to acquiring Hollywood Brown and Cordarelle Patterson to liven up the passing game. But hey, he moved on from Will Levis that some lowly sap out there was willing to take him in, hoping they can do a better job with him. (Spoiler: The Dolphins are 25^th in passing with Levis through 4 games).

Tale as old as time.

Season 83 Offensive Rookie of the Year: QB C.J. Stroud, Houston Texans

A lot of good choices to go with. I could see BM getting TE Dalton Kincaid involved a lot, Chargesr WR Quitin Johnson will be sharing quite a bit of catches in LA, and a dark horse contender in Zay Flowers in Baltimore, but going with a QB is a nice, safe choice, and it only helps that he has the best WR in the game on his team.

I severely underestimated Anthony Richardson. I don’t even remember a reason to not consider him. Maybe I was tired that day. We will go with that. But shout out to past me for listing a couple of guys who didn’t even make the ballot! That’s the real talent.

Season 83 Defensive Rookie of the Year: DE Will McDonald, New York Jets

Defense is always a crap shoot. While I do think the secondary might show up on paper more, it is hard to tell which player it will be that keeps showing up (I REAALLLLLY wanted to find a safety to pick here). Instead, I will settle BigMac here.

I nailed it! Will won the award! …… wait I got the wrong Will? Will Anderson?? No no no, the Texans were supposed to win the OROY, not the DROY. But I wanna give another shout out to Will McDonald, as it looks like you played like 10 snaps your rookie year, based on your 2 total tackles you recorded on the season.

Season 83 Offensive Player of the Year: QB Patrick Mahomes, Kansas City Chiefs

Patty makes it look like the defenses are on All-Pro while he is playing on All-Madden. As long as an injury doesn’t screw things up, he will be in contention for sure.

LOL…. This is awkward. Had Mahomes played all 17 games and not got injured, I think he wins this award. Please don’t sue me. I have a family.

Season 83 Defensive Player of the Year: SS Derwin James, Los Angeles Chargers

Safeties are playing VERY well on defending the deep ball, and very few guys can cover deep like Derwin James. Pairing him up with Ramesu means teams will likely need to throw to keep up, which should make James happy. Give me at least double digit INTs for Derwin, while also covering a lot of ground making tackles and forcing fumbles.

4 interceptions and 8 deflections in the first 7 games, and then he just kind of… disappeared. 3 deflections and 0 INTs the rest of the way. Does this game feel different to you?

Season 83 Most Valuable Player: Mahomes

I think the vote will be close and argument may ensue on who had the bigger impact, but most of the time, it will lean towards the offensive player, especially a QB.

#fixthisshit Makes you wonder, if Mahomes just had a point or two more of morale from playing in those games, would he have been able to make the final throws needed to keep up with Don?

Season 83 Super Bowl: San Francisco 49ers 27, Kansas City Chiefs 41

Adel takes the 5 seed personally, and just run through everyone. First 5,000 inside the stadium get complimentary mops!

Sorry folks, the mops came early, but Adel was nice enough to bring some of his own for the post-Super Bowl new conference. (Nothing like losing the SB and coming to chat to call your opponent a loser... that's Grade A entertainment!)

 

Alright, so there was some good, some close ones, and some I just completely missed. So sue me! (Except anyone involved with the Chiefs organization, I already submitted my restraining order against you all.). Let’s reload and try again, Season 84 style!

Check out my new toy!
 

Ahh, the first draft. Everyone went out and found their guys they want to start building the future around (well not everyone, I just don’t know what those other guys are doing in an economy like this.) Just like a kid with a new toy, they are gonna want to play with it early, and often. Unfortunately, I think this new fathom with the shiny toy and the possibility of making it even cooler! will get to some peoples heads. And with that, I mean I think we might see some cases of guys taking it too far, and starting the debate of cheesing for xp/dev, and force the commishes to take way too much time fine combing through everything to determine if it’s standard playcalling, or cheese central.

Back home

One of the storylines this upcoming offseason will be what Pat does with his QBs. Well, what he does with the one he should have been keeping this whole time. Oden will never be Burrow. But Pat would rather pay a $25M cap penalty to HOPEFULLY trade him this offseason. If I was to pick who, I think pairing him with Glenn in New Orleans would be a great fit, and I would love to see if getting a guy like Joe would help him overcome his INT woes, which really is the biggest thing that holds him back from more success. Plus, I hear Joe is pretty familiar with that region from his days at LSU.

Coming up a bit short

Kyler Murray and a short joke?! I am sure you’ve never seen that done before. After a disappointing Season 83 in which Kyler got hurt and missed time, we have seen Kyler get hurt two more times this most recent season, as the red birds start 1-3 on the season. I don’t have a lot of confidence Kyler makes it the whole season, and if they stay on course with how it looks right now, JP might need to take a darkness retreat to really think about if Kyler is a part of the problem or the solution to competing moving forward. After this season, I think he will start entering the financial point where he can afford to move on and start fresh.

Mops, Aisle 6

This is a bold one. 49ers QB George Curran gets hurt at some point in the season. Jake questions why the world has it out for him, and wonders if it’s him or the team that is cursed. Chat feels bad, but also gets quality entertainment out of watching pain flow through both Curran’s body and Jake’s mental well-being. We aren’t perfect people for being entertained by travesty, okay!?

Season 85 Top 5 Draft Order

(I don’t know if they have their picks, and I am too lazy to look.)

1. New England Patriots
2. Denver Broncos
3. LA Rams
4. Pittsburgh Steelers
5. Seattle Seahawks

(Side note: I was appalled to see the Cowboys at 3-1 and Giants at 1-3.)

Stop it already

Simple and easy one. Sometimes I feel like I need one of these. The Bucs won’t go 20-0 again. You all can relax.

Season 84 Offensive Rookie of the Year

QB George Curran, San Francisco 49ers

Injury aside, I think the voters look at what he did all season and give him the nod. I also think there will be some guys that will be nominated that will cause some voters to not like their usage and refuse to give them votes.

Season 84 Defensive Rookie of the Year

LB David Knight, Chicago Bears

Currently leads all rookies in tackles and sacks, from the MLB position. Add a couple of INTs this season and he will make this an easy race. I am impressed with Jabari Stewart in LAR, as he was one of the guys in the draft with a big draft profile.

Season 84 Offensive Player of the Year

HB Dalvin Cook, Tennessee Titans

I think Dalvin will be fighting with a few QBs for this honor, but if he stays healthy, look for 2,200 total yards and flirts with 20 TDs.

Season 84 Defensive Player of the Year

FS Kevin Byard, Tennessee Titans

I think people will see INTs being more impactful than sacks (they are), and he will get the nod over some 20+ sack guys. I like his abilities, and I like the chances he will to rack up the turnovers.

Season 84 Most Valuable Player

QB Patrick Mahomes, Kansas City Chiefs

He avoids injury, he avoids suspension, he brings home more hardware.

Season 84 Super Bowl

Tennessee Titans 32, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 31

Moji gets a final drive down 7, scores under :30 seconds remaining, and takes a page out of Trent’s book to go for 2 to knock out the former champ.