Drinking the Yaterade: Season 83 Predictions

by AST1N | 1 year ago | 0 Comments

Well, well, well, well, well. What do we have here? A Yaterade before Week 1??

I first must apologize for not following up with my Season 82 Predictions follow-up, as I am still awaiting the Awards ballot to drop (I am sure it will be any day now!) All you need to remember is that I picked Pat to lose in the Super Bowl, and the man did not let me down.

Now we are gonna have some new faces around these parts, so this annual article will be somewhat new to them. Here is how it works: I make a bunch of predictions for the upcoming season, and then the following year I look back on these predictions, recap and justify every one of them so that I look smart, and predict some more for the next season. Rinse and repeat.

Since we are just five hours away from Week 1, let’s not waste any more time with the opening monologue. Season 83 is on the way!

So many FNGs…

Let’s recap all of the new guys we have added to this cycle, and my predictions on how Season 83 will play out for them:

Boom, New England Patriots: 5-12

I think he will struggle with finding playmakers on offense, and Mac Jones is a huge liability.

Tohn, Denver Broncos: 4-13

One of the toughest divisions in the league, and Russ is cooked.

L2D, Minnesota Vikings: 8-9

While technically new and not new, I think he benefits from being in a weaker conference, and having some prior experience in the league years ago.

VC, New York Giants: 10-7

WHAT? Yes. This is going to happen. I believe the Giants have some well-rounded pieces, and I see the division as being winnable. I wouldn’t be shocked to see him in the playoffs in his first year.

Don, Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 6-11

When Donny can keep his INTs down, he plays pretty well. However, Trey Lance might not help him out and I am willing to bet his backup is coming into the game at least 5 times this season.

Albrxght, LA Rams: 2-15

I will just say it as it is, the Rams roster is horrible. Any coach would struggle with them, so it doesn’t help going to a brand new guy. It’s crazy to think this team won a SB just a few years ago.

King of the West

All the talk leading up to this cycle has been “Adel is going to run the AFC”. So let’s get spicy here on this one. The Kansas City Chiefs will be the 5 seed in the AFC. I think RAMESU and the CHARGERS will ultimately win the AFC West. While the Chiefs have some top heavy dominance, I think the Chargers are top to bottom one of the best teams in the league. Want to try to shut down Mahomes? Well good thing the Chargers have two elite pass rushers (Mack, Bosa), THREE corners 80+ OVR, and some guy named Derwin James. These games will be fun to watch.

Speaking of tough divisions….

The AFC South will be the closest one to call. I could see a case where any of the 4 teams winning the division. If you force me to pick one team now, I might take the Jaguars, but I think it could come down to Week 17 to make the final decision.

A tale of two conferences

7 seed in the AFC: 11 wins might be needed

7 seed in the NFC: Break .500

The biggest notable difference between the conferences is really going to be telling at the bottom. When we look back on the season, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if the NFC has 7 out of 10 of the worst records in the league.

It’s like Shaq in a compact car

What do I mean by that? Simply, it’s a bad fit. While he has been known historically as one of the top users in the league, I hate the team he ended up with and I believe it is not set up in the way he is known for. The user I am talking about is Moji. I don’t believe the personnel group he has meshes with his style of play, and I could see him struggling off and on all season trying to make it work. I also think he will end up moving on from Will Levis, and there will be some lowly sap out there willing to give him picks next season to take him in (as they hope they can do a better job with him). It’s a tale as old as time.

Season 83 Offensive Rookie of the Year: QB C.J. Stroud, Houston Texans

A lot of good choices to go with. I could see BM getting TE Dalton Kincaid involved a lot, Chargesr WR Quitin Johnson will be sharing quite a bit of catches in LA, and a dark horse contender in Zay Flowers in Baltimore, but going with a QB is a nice, safe choice, and it only helps that he has the best WR in the game on his team.

Season 83 Defensive Rookie of the Year: DE Will McDonald, New York Jets

Defense is always a crap shoot. While I do think the secondary might show up on paper more, it is hard to tell which player it will be that keeps showing up (I REAALLLLLY wanted to find a safety to pick here). Instead, I will settle BigMac here.

Season 83 Offensive Player of the Year: QB Patrick Mahomes, Kansas City Chiefs

Patty makes it look like the defenses are on All-Pro while he is playing on All-Madden. As long as an injury doesn’t screw things up, he will be in contention for sure.

Season 83 Defensive Player of the Year: SS Derwin James, Los Angeles Chargers

Safeties are playing VERY well on defending the deep ball, and very few guys can cover deep like Derwin James. Pairing him up with Ramesu means teams will likely need to throw to keep up, which should make James happy. Give me at least double digit INTs for Derwin, while also covering a lot of ground making tackles and forcing fumbles.

Season 83 Most Valuable Player: Mahomes

I think the vote will be close and argument may ensue on who had the bigger impact, but most of the time, it will lean towards the offensive player, especially a QB.

Season 83 Super Bowl: San Francisco 49ers 27, Kansas City Chiefs 41

Adel takes the 5 seed personally, and just run through everyone. First 5,000 inside the stadium get complimentary mops!