Drinking the Yaterade - Season 76 Predictions
by AST1N | 3 years ago | 0 Comments
Winding It Down
Season 76 is in full swing. Except this isn’t Tiger Wood’s beautiful swing. So far we are looking like Charles Barkley’s swing, with us anxiously waiting for the ball to get hit. Just hit the damn ball, Chuck! In the first 3 weeks of the season, we have had ~7 games scheduled to be played starting at the 47th hour of the advance window.
Now here is my take on this, and it’s a twofer.
- Some guys are just done for the cycle and are now just playing their games, not out of enjoyment, but rather to keep their standing in the league for M23. You can see it when they could have played their games earlier, but chose to play other games that night instead. The passion… the desire… the hope… all gone. Might as well drag it out so you aren’t burdened to play it more than you have to.
- The longer the weeks take, the more people are going to start dropping off. When things are flying, stories and league happenings are constantly feeding our peanut sized brains with content. Many of us take that rush of content and gain a itty-bitty drop of dopamine out of it. Now when it gets spread out too wide, it doesn’t fuel you enough and some guys will start to fall off as well, especially those who likely aren’t playing in January and the future with their organization is dimming. The excitement of a top 5 pick with one season left isn’t exactly the boost you need to revitalize your passion.
Now I hope I am wrong. I hope everyone stays excited, motivated, and pushes through the end. However, I have been here long enough to know how it goes. Here’s to crossing my fingers that the number who check out is very minimal.
Enough about being a Debby Downer…. Let’s hit the recap button!
SEASON 75 RECAP
What goes up, must come down
Alright, who saw the NFC N having all four teams 8-9 or better? No one. Absolutely no one. And it will never happen again. We are going to see some regression. Packers had to blow their team up and are now starting a youth movement, and it’s a good thing Glenn drafted very well, but it will take some time and development. I think the Lions make the biggest jump up from 4th place and actually make a WC spot. Bears will regress to 6-7 wins, and Packers down to 4-6 wins.
Packers: 3-14
Bears: 8-9
Vikings: 9-8
Lions: 11-6
Few noteworthy things here. Boy did I call the Lions making that leap, but I don’t think anyone saw them going all the way up to 1st from 4th, but I will gladly take saying they made a WC spot. Close enough. Being 1 game off from Bears and Packers win totals is good enough in my book as well. Now if only someone could tell me what happened to Minnesota. Weird year.
Race for 1st
As we speak, there are 7 teams without a win. There are also 7 divisions with a winless team. The race for the first overall pick looks to be exciting if it stays this way. If I include the 1-2 Broncos and only those winless teams, this is what I would predict to be the draft order come the end of the season (I don’t care if you traded away your first, if applicable)
Giants (4)
Jets (1)
Browns (3)
Broncos (6)
Colts (5)
Rams (7)
Packers (2)
Saints (15)
In the parenthesis, I put their actual pick position. Not too bad… I picked the top 7 teams to be in some sort of order, and there was a 2 game buffer (4-13 up to 6-11) after those 7. Saints surprised me, but I’ll take 7/8.
AFC Sleeper Pick
Kansas City has been under the radar this entire cycle, even though they have had double digit wins in every season outside of the first one. They, like pretty much everyone else in the AFC, decide to crumble come playoff time (1-4 record in the last 4 post seasons) and because of this, don’t get the attention they probably deserve. It also doesn’t help when Kevin wins the division over you, but that’s another story for another day. Will we see KC finally bounce back and make that push again? Maybe?
I’d say 13-4 is a pretty solid push. I don’t think there’s a coach in here who wouldn’t take that. They even won a playoff game. However, those pesky Bengals came to town and knocked him out of the playoffs in the Divisional round. I fully expect them to be around in the playoffs again this upcoming season.
‘Tis a scratch
The Panthers, Footballs, and Dolphins all sit at 1-2 to start the season. I think they all can and should finish with double digit wins. Miami will push it with 9-10 wins, but the other two will be very fine. Don’t get sucked in to early successes/failures.
Miami: 9 wins.
Footballs: Oh, just rattled off 13-1 record after this.
Panthers: WTF. 7-10. Probably just a fluky year.
Season 75 Offensive Rookie of the Year – TE Jamal Walker, GB
And then TE Jamal Walker, GB gets suspended in S76 for eventual stat padding. I think Kirkland separates himself from the other rookie QBs in the class, but low completion %s and INT issues could derail this thing quick.
Walker won the award, but the stat padding thing didn’t happen because when you throw it 80% of the time, you can give a lot more touches to other teammates too.
Jamal Walker 109 catches, 25 drops (WOW)
Curtis Samuel 56 catches, 13 drops
Alex Shelby 65 catches, 17 drops
Aaron Jones 56 catches, 10 drops
Season 75 Defensive Rookie of the Year – MLB John Patton, HOU
I think this becomes a two man race between Patton and Tampa Bay’s MLB Kionte Goode, but I give the edge to Patton based on his big hitting abilities and potential for more forced fumbles. Both guys should excel.
Patton ran away with this award, getting 18 votes. Next closest was 9 vote getters.
Season 75 Offensive Player of the Year – HB Saquon Barkley, BAL
Let’s be real here. Adel is going to run Barkley into the ground both on the ground and in the air. And he should. And we can all hope and pray that M23 will include a feature that will actually hurt guys who get overused. A 2,200 total yard season is not unattainable, as he could very well go over 1k rushing and receiving.
1,877 Rushing
606 Receiving
Overused? You betcha. OPOY winner? Naturally!
Season 75 Defensive Player of the Year – EDGE Danielle Hunter, MIN
7 sacks in 3 games. He is probably looking at 20+ if he stays healthy. This also assumes people stop throwing the ball right at Minkah 50x a season. That being said, Minkah will probably win.
7 sacks in 3 games.
Field writes article about it.
Hunter then gets 3 sacks in 14 remaining games.
Field questions why Danielle Hunter hates him.
Season 75 MVP – QB Davis Mills, HOU
Safe bet here. Sometimes you take the guy with the best odds and lowest payout. He only makes mistakes when he knows the defenders will drop the ball anyway. Won’t take sacks so he won’t fumble. That’s a recipe for votes.
Mills had a very pedestrian year, throwing 39 TDs and 15 INTs. The Texans struggled early on, so creeping into the playoffs really hurt his chances. Wait, team record and playoffs don’t matter for MVP voting… disregard that. Regardless, he still had one of his worst seasons of his career, which is actually quite impressive for the former 3rd round pick.
Super Bowl 75 – Baltimore Ravens 31, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 17
The NFC is wide open and I could make a case for any of them, so I figured it was Roc’s turn. It is also probably unwise to not take Houston here, but that makes for a boring article. I already hooked Mills and Patton up.
I DID IT! I FINALLY DID IT!!!!! I think Roc had a very good chance of making the big game too if he didn’t decide to dip out on us mid-season.
In recap, this was one of the best prediction articles I have done in the approximate 20 seasons of writing this article (glares over at Danielle Hunter once again). This just means that Season 76 predictions are going to be a complete shit show, so buckle up.
Season 76 Predictions
Worried in Cincy
The Bengals are 1-3, and 0-3 in the division. No one saw that coming. I’m not going to lie, it might be rough ahead. Sure, they have lost all 3 games by one score. Unfortunately, the L is the only thing that matters. Here is a list of teams left on their schedule that I think could beat Moji (could, not necessarily will):
Chiefs
49ers
Vikings
Browns? Lol
Cardinals
Chargers
Steelers?
Ravens
Not to mention teams like Seattle, Las Vegas, New England who can be very fluky. And I will never count out the CPU Broncos at just having one of those unstoppable games.
Basically, if Moji wants to make the playoffs, he will need to scratch and claw his way there. If he does make it, he definitely earned his spot.
Hold your horses
Don’t look now, but the Colts are 3-0. Do I believe in them? NEIGHHHHHHH. (Don’t worry Adel, here soon you will become a father and start to appreciate the bad puns/dad jokes). Gregory has played TOFN twice and Jim, not who I would call statement wins. He’s 32nd in passing with 119 yards per game. Fun fact: he doesn’t play a non-divisional game until Week 7. I am here to watch the downfall.
Boondock Saints
Now you might say “what does that title even have to do with the New Orleans Saints?” Well, nothing. I just like the movie and wanted to plug that information. But back to the football Saints. I initially was going to say they are going to say they too will likely drop off from their 3-0 start, but their schedule remaining is just too good. I legit think they are flirting with double digit wins and their first post season berth.
The ________ are on the clock
The answer? Houston Texans. One of the hardest things to do is joining RedZone mid-cycle, taking a team with huge holes in it, and building it to fit your playstyle. Biggs found a way to win with a low-rated team. Unfortunately, very few can win like that. TOFN will likely struggle for the rest of the cycle, but hopefully he sticks around through the struggles and shows us what he’s capable of in Madden 23.
It’s the Ravens and Footballs world, we are just living in it
Ravens will win the 1 seed in AFC, going at least 15-2. WFT will AT WORST finish 15-2 and win the NFC 1 seed. The teams are just too loaded with talent, have seasoned coaches, and have schedules that they can go on some pretty good winning streaks.
Season 76 Offensive Rookie of the Year – HB John Valentine, LV Raiders
I think this will be another case of a guy running away with the award. I don’t believe in any of the QBs or any other HBs. WR Marques Sims (ATL) is getting a pretty good workload, and Adel will likely get some team success votes from TE Roman Coleman (a rookie pass catcher near the top in receptions on a very good squad will get you some attention). However, I think Valentine is the safest bet.
Season 76 Defensive Rookie of the Year – LB Caleb West, Minnesota Vikings
I cannot tell you how tempted I am at putting CPU/DEN FS Raheem Cochran here, even though no one will vote for a non-user team player. He is currently 1st in tackles and 1st in INTs for rookie defenders. If he stays that way, he’s got to start getting in the conversation. I am instead picking West, who is 2nd in tackles, tied for 2nd in sacks, has 4 pass deflections and a fumble recovery. And now this is where he stops performing for the rest of the season because he is buddies with Danielle Hunter (glares at him again).
Season 76 Offensive Player of the Year – HB Saquon Barkley, Baltimore Ravens
The Ravens shipped away J.K. Dobbins to the Dolphins this past offseason, putting the full workload on Barkley. After 4 weeks, he is on pace for 1,530 rush yards and 1,096 receiving yards. The only thing stopping him will be the possibility of potential Adel daddy duties on the horizon.
Season 76 Defensive Player of the Year – LB Fred Warner, SF 49ers
This is literally the hardest one to predict year to year. I am going with Warner, as he is top 12 in solo tackles, and currently 1st in pass deflections. PASS DEFLECTIONS?! Yep. That just tells me he’s getting to the ball a lot in passing situations and the INTs will come (he currently only has 1). Don’t worry, I have long accepted I will never get this one correct.
Season 76 MVP – QB Baker Mayfield, Washington Football Team
Go ahead and sell your house in an inflated housing market, take the proceeds to Vegas, live in your car/on the street for a few months, and put all the money on Baker winning this award. He’s completing 78% of his passes, 11 TDs, and 1 INT. He will not be stopped this season.
Season 76 Super Bowl – Baltimore Ravens 34, Washington Football Team 31
Picking both 1 seeds to play each other? Sure. I am trying to avoid risk here. I already risked enough selling my house 10% below market value just to bring it with me to Vegas.