Drinking the Yaterade - Season 65 Predictions
by AST1N | 4 years ago | 0 Comments
64 seasons. Do you realize how many games that is?? I don’t think you do. Let me do the math for you.
256 regular season games + 11 playoff games a season.
That is 17,088 Red Zone games played, not counting any preseason games or simulated games. If we said each game took 1 hour to play (which is def lower than it really takes), it would take you 712 days to watch every single game back to back from Season 1, Week 1, Game 1 until the Super Bowl.
Look. At. Us.
(I actually don’t know if we should be proud or ashamed).
So why am I bringing these numbers up? No idea. I just needed an opening paragraph.
Let’s go look at last season’s predictions!
The Falcons are ready to take flight.
For the first 2 seasons of the cycle, Atlanta has been a huge disappointment. Like bottom 10 team bad. Imagine a guy with a resume like Bill Cowher coming out of retirement and struggling his first two seasons back. I’d say that’s not out of the realm of possibilities. Here are the facts with this Atlanta team. They were not good nor deep to start with, and that Matt Ryan contract might have been the worst contract in the league, even worse than Kirk Cousins. Season 62 for Kelly was about re-accumulating to the speed and nuances of the league. Season 63 was his cap dump year, which severely handicapped his season (when like $50M of your $220M cap space is stuck to cap penalties, and the rest to bad contracts like Jake Matthews, you are in for a bad time.) However, the excuses are gone. The contracts are gone. Kelly had money to spend to build his team, and he did. He also had a very good draft. He also just came away with the victory in Week 1 against the defending NFC Champs. If I am Tauph, I am keeping my eyes in the rear view mirror, as the Dirty Birds are approaching fast.
11-5 and the NFC South crown? Nailed it!
The Archer misses his mark.
I have never seen someone’s stock get artificially raised by a team’s performance more than I have Dan Archer. We have guys on Twitter ready to proclaim him as the best RedZone QB in history. Are we ignoring the fact that this Jaguars team’s strength is its defense and running game? That he had 17 TDs to 25 INTs? These were probably the same people enamored by “Elite” Joe Flacco’s run in the playoffs he had a little less than a decade ago. However, I do not see a repeat title run for this team. The schedule is pretty rough, for the most part. He plays his division (which top to bottom might be the most competitive in the league), Ravens, Bills, AFC West (which in S62 looked great, S63 not so much… which division are we getting this season?) and then has Adel and Weed (and I will say WG too just so he leaves me alone). Getting to 10 wins might be difficult and his path to the playoffs again will be a tough journey. I expect Archer’s TD/INT ratio to improve to a positive figure, but let’s slow down the GOAT talk for a bit.
The Jags snuck in as the 5 seed, but he still struggled getting his TD/INT ratio improved (21:22)
*Don’t look now, but he has started this season at [3:9]. Over. Rated.*
The Un-sinking of the Titan-ic
The Titans were very good in S62. Then they regressed and missed the playoffs and watched their division mate win the SB. If that doesn’t light a fire under your ass, then I don’t know what will. However, I see them heading back to their old ways, feeding Henry, and using new QB Cam Newton to ground and pound their way back into the playoffs.
Oh, they really unsunk themselves, all the way to the Super Bowl, and revitalized Cam’s career. I would expect them to ride that same train back in Season 6…. Wait, what? Neither Cam Newton nor Derrick Henry are back? Weird.
It’s Election Day. Go Vote.
Speaking of Patriotic things, look at ol’ Glenn making moves. And he just won a game with Stidham at QB. Do I think getting Wentz makes him throw less INTs? Yes, but that’s not hard when you were throwing 50 of them in a season. However, if Glenn sticks to using his running game behind that great offensive line, and strategically uses his passing game, I see improvement from this team. In fact, I am such a believer in Glenn that I think he ends up outside of the bottom 8 teams this season. Is this my annual “Believe in a guy who will let me down when I am writing this article next season” guy? History tells me yes. But my heart says no.
Yes, Wentz still threw 33 INTs, but I do think he helped his team when he wasn’t busy throwing to the other team. Although the Patriots (Eagles) ended up with pick 8, he was tied with the guy who had pick 10, so I will safely say that he exceeded expectations of most.
Arise, King of the NFC
For the first two seasons, it has felt like a two-team regular season race in the NFC between the Eagles and Bucs (even though the Cardinals won the 1 seed in S62 and the 49ers have represented the NFC in back to back SBs). However, they have both lost their starting QBs and they both believe they will be fine with lesser talent. You know who else lost their QB? The 49ers. Who does that leave? That’s right, the team with the defending MVP, OPOY, and DPOY. This is the Cardinals conference now and for the next little while. His time to make a push for his first SB is now.
No. I won’t take the L on this one because Kyler got hurt. I refuse. #fixthisshit
Alright, time for awards.
Offensive Rookie of the Year – HB Gerald Blaylock, SF
If Week 1 told me anything, it’s that 1) Ernest loves this guy and 2) he is going to feed him all season. Are we going to see another Babineaux situation of a guy who gets too much love early on, and has to be benched at the end of the season? It is a real possibility, as Jamal Williams is the only other threat on the team to get significant carries. I also wouldn’t be surprised to see Blaylock top 3 in receptions on the team as well.
Although he didn’t win OROY, he did win the Associated Press OROY for the NFC. Congrats Crocker!
Defensive Rookie of the Year – SS Denzel Brownlee, CIN
Defensive ROTY is always a hard one to predict, since it’s less about usage and more about opportunity and ratings. A 5’9 safety on a historically mediocre team? Sure, why not. He is also already very highly rated for a rookie, and is an X-factor. I plan on taking the L on this one, but would be pleasantly surprised if it comes true.
Hey, I did say I was planning on taking the loss in advance. He still had a solid season and finished near the top in voting.
Offensive Player of the Year – QB Kyler Murray, ARI
It is Murray time. This is his year. I think he will have competition for the award with Drew Lock, Sam Darnold, Kam Killings, and Lamar Jackson, but in the end of the day the roll-out king will need to roll out some more space in his trophy case.
#fixthisshit
Defensive Player of the Year – MLB Patrick Queen, BAL
The easy pick would be Simmons, but I don’t like gimmies. I challenge Red Zone to look beyond just sacks and INTs, as we typically do. Queen is a tackling machine and is constantly around the ball all game. If he can get some INTs to put his name on the map in that category, I think he has a chance. I am also intrigued with what Bobby Wagner will end up doing with Moji, as he too could become a legit contender for the award.
Maybe I should look more at sacks and INTs, because Queen didn’t do much/enough to get his team more wins.
MVP – QB Kyler Murray, ARI
I have said enough about him.
You know what I haven’t said enough? #fixthisshit
Super Bowl Prediction – Arizona Cardinals 31, Tennessee Titans 20
Did I just predict the Damn Ram Fam Sham bowl? Unfortunately yes. I don’t know why I keep putting miserable outcomes as my SB predictions, but here I am. I am a sad, sad little man.
Instead of Roc losing to Ram, he lost to Adel. Still a miserable outcome. WINNING!
Alright… Here we are. A little late into Week 5 of Season 65. You know what’s worse than writing an article late? Not doing it all and setting myself up next season without a recap section. Future me better thank me for my tireless efforts.
2 Pump Glenn
Yes. Glenn started off on FIRE this season, going 3-0. “Is this the new Glenn? Did marriage change him? LOL at Adel for thinking he’d have a top 10 pick!” Chill. He now sits at 3-2 after back to back loses, and he’s back to throwing 2,000 INTs. While he does have some winnable games down the stretch, I am feeling that 7-9 might be his ceiling. Now that is an improvement, so I don’t want to take anything away from him, but I am afraid that he blew his load too early, leaving the rest of us unsatisfied.
U-G-H-H, UGHH, UGHH, UGHH!
The Jets are winning a minimum of 17 games this season. That’s the prediction. And you know who you are that helped him get here.
With the 1st selection in the Season 66 draft, the _______ select….
Fill in the blank time. Are you going Giants? Vikings? Lions? Well don’t, because you are wrong. There is a good chance we are going to see the Green Bay Packers with their choice of players next offseason. Theo is off to a VERY rough start, and he simply cannot get it going offensively nor defensively. The growing pains are real. Could someone tank their way to the top? Sure, but I am not putting any confidence in GB this season.
The Three Little Piggies
What does the three little pigs have to do with Red Zone? They don’t. I just needed something with a three and that was the first thing that came to mind. I would go with the 3 Amigos, but half these guys are not, and I don’t know what 3 Enemies is in Spanish. Anyway… three! That’s the number of teams the AFC AND NFC West’s will send to the playoffs this season, in their respective conferences. I am even willing to say that the 4th place teams will both be flirting around 8-8 or better. Who knows… maybe Madden will mess up and allow us to, for the first time ever, have an entire division make the playoffs. I will always root for chaos.
Bearly Makin’ it
I hate this. The NFC North is a travesty. The Bears are 1-3 and I am predicting them to win the division. You know how in the NFL right now the NFC East is a hot garbage pile? That is going to be the NFC North. If you win 8 games in this division, enjoy your 4 seed. Could Eikim pull it out? It’s going to be hard for me to put faith in him yet until I see more. It would be a great story, don’t get me wrong, but my goal is to avoid looking foolish. I’ve said enough about the Packers, and Rfox has a better chance of winning Prom King than anything remotely close to a Division title, at this point.
Offensive Rookie of the Year – Andrew Gleason – QB, Las Vegas Raiders
This year will actually be controversial in the voting. Gleason will run away with the AP OROY award, since they love QBs. However, there are some things to consider. And those things are named Tiko Brown. Will voters think he’s cheesing his QB? Do some people just not like Tiko? Is it hard to compare QBs to HBs/WRs and make it a fair comparison?
Bill Harris in BAL already eliminated himself. Bernard Barnes in TEN can’t get on the field because his team can’t count to 15. That leaves us a few actual candidates: HB Courtney Fox – BAL, WR Justin Bennett – IND, WR Raijon Bates – BUF, and Mr. Pick 33 himself, WR Richard Reddick, LAC. If I am going to guess, this is how the finish in voting: Gleason, Bennett, Fox, Reddick, Bates. Why Bates 5th? JP doesn’t seem like an award chaser, and he will likely distribute the ball around in Buffalo. Bennett in Indy is going to see a lot of action, as it appears that the Colts might get used to trailing on the scoreboard.
Defensive Rookie of the Year – Sidney Hayden – MLB, Carolina Panthers
Who? Oh, that is just the Panthers 1st round pick this past season. He is a fast MLB, and hes top 5 in tackles among all defensive rookies. “Tackles are terrible criteria for DROY!” I know, I know… but look at these teams: Saints, Vikings, Packers, Bucs, Bears, Saints again, Colts, Giants, Jags, Texans, League Leading INT leaders Falcons, and Titans. Now as you look at those teams, tell me how many INTs are going to be thrown to the fast LB in the middle of the field. He already got his first against the 3PS Falcons in Week 4 (which he returned for a score), and I really wouldn’t be surprised to see him bring in 8-9 INTs and end up top 3 for rookies in tackles.
Offensive Player of the Year – Sam Darnold – QB, New York Jets
Shame. Shame on you all. How do you even defend this offense? You don’t. All Sammy has to do is not royally screw up, stay under 3 INTs, and avoid injury, and he will be over 5k yards, 2.5:1 TD:INT ratio, and 110+ QB rating.
The Isaiah Simmons Defensive Player of the Year - Isaiah Simmons – S/LB/DE/P/LF, Arizona Cardinals
At this point, why even try selecting anyone else? Even if it comes down to being a tight race, the name recognition alone will push him to gaining the most votes. [On a related note, my editor just came into my office and said that Simmons might be interested in replacing my job writing these articles, and the company is considering it. Is there anything he can’t do??]
Most Valuable Player – Sam Darnold – QB, New York Jets
See above.
Super Bowl 65
San Francisco 49ers 31, New York Jets 41
Can we just call this the GMs of the Cycle Bowl? Here is a hot take for you. If this matchup happens, but Ernest wins… Does that put him in Hall of Fame discussions? I will let you decide.
See you guys in 2021.