Armchair Athlete - Ranking the 32
by adelfish | 7 years ago | 0 Comments
07/03/2018
Week 5 – Season 45 Armchair Athlete – Ranking the 32
Another cycle here and another cycle gone, amazing how quickly it flies by. When the lottery draft came in May of 2017, everyone is on the same playing field. Everyone has those young, enticing rookies that make them feel as though ‘this is my year!!’ Remember when we all said that ‘Finally, Turtles has a great offense, maybe he can do something with Dallas.’? – seems like eons ago.
Now is the best time of year to take a look at the league as a whole – this isn’t going to be the longest edition of the ‘Armchair Athlete’ – but I wanted my thoughts out there regarding how the current 32 sit.
The ‘When Does Free Agency Start?’ Tier
• 32 – Turtles
• 31 – Corn
• 30 – Eddie
• 29 – Beat Oven
Not exactly what you’d call a ‘Murderer’s Row’ of juggernauts in the Red Zone – well, I guess you could call them ‘Murderer’s Row’ of people who enjoy watching competent football. So here’s the thing – there is potential for every league member in this league to find success, two of these guys have been division winners before! But the problem lies (for 3 of them especially) in the offseason work. Finding ways to acquire players more efficiently, really nailing those top 5 picks every year, and not giving up assets to top tier guys.
I’d like to see these guys try harder too inside their division – if you can’t beat your division mates, you’ll never have a chance at the postseason! Next year, I think a couple of these guys have a legitimate chance to win more than 4 games a year – but commitment is the most important thing.
Oh who am I kidding, they’ll all stink.
The ‘Oh Yeah, He’s in the League!’ Tier
• 28 – Nick
Usually when you’re in your own tier it’s a good thing, right? Well, in this case it’s because I almost forgot to rank you. The disappointing part about this tier, is that Nick actually produces on the field at a top-half of the league rate when he plays (emphasis on the when), but he disappears frequently, forgets about the league, etc. His high moment was rubbing it in the face of Astin when he beat him this year, or that 14-2 Jaguars team. Overall he is actually a competent player, but his inactivity moves him way down.
The ‘Cute Story Until Week 6’ Tier
• 27 – Beech
• 26 – Jim
• 25 – Blueprint
• 24 – Eikim
I had a hard time putting these four in a low tier, but the results speak for themselves. These seem to be four users who are always flirting with taking a step out of the bottom 20, and into a playoff contender – 3 of these 4 are excellent team builders, and 2 of these 4 made the playoffs this cycle (3 of 4 last cycle), and Beech missed out by half a game as a Wild Card Team.
Eikim is one of, if not the best, team builders in the league – he is certainly one of the best GMs come draft time, so I think he is very likely to put it together. Blueprint and Jim have shown they are able to take that step, but it is an anomaly most of the time. Beech needs to show he can care for a full season before I push him higher, but it stings that he missed the playoffs in that 10-6 season.
The ‘Fond Memories’ Tier
• 23 – Trent
• 22 – JP
• 21 – Silk
This was the first tier I thought of when I started this piece – guys that we always reference in Red Zone lore as if they have passed away (Silk, not far off). All of these guys have had success in Red Zone past, but for some reason they have been snakbitten recently. Silk, by far, has been the most successful of these three recently, and maybe it is a slight to put him here. He is currently sitting at 18th in the league for his win percentage for the cycle, so this isn’t a complete slap in the face.
Trent has fallen off completely, currently sitting at 28th out of 32 users in terms of his win percentage, finishing last or third in the NFC North every single year, and not a single playoff appearance in 10 seasons – ouch. It seems so long ago that he had those Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl…
Meanwhile JP became the outlier in an otherwise competitive NFC South that saw everyone besides him make a playoff appearance. He has been ripped by some around the league that the run he had with Tennessee (when he beat Live2Die in the playoffs) was a complete aberration and fooled us all, and that this is who he is. We will certainly find out, as he heads to a division with Weed, Tauph, and Aaron.
The ‘Hey Don’t Forget About Us!!’ Tier
• 20 – TSpittah
• 19 – Pat
• 18 – Jake
• 17 – Aaron
When I see this group of guys I shrug my shoulders and think, ‘Meh!’ They don’t blow you away on the field, or in the offseason (well, Jake does) – but they all have that one moment or season that makes you go ‘oh yeah!’ Each of them has had their moment in the sun, but fell into obscurity and irrelevancy since.
Spittah was a constant force early on with Denver, but fell behind the pack and the dominance of the Chiefs and Chargers took over for the remainder of the cycle – he does deserve credit for developing Jared Yount, one of our league’s best passers. He seems to have checked out down the stretch of the cycle, but look for him to be in the mix in a winnable division next year.
Pat and Jake are the same in terms of their moment – because they played each other! Either one was going to get rolled over against the Ravens, but it is fun to see two NFC West underdogs fight for conference supremacy. Pat is easily one of the most improved owners in the league, while Jake has been a lovable loser in early Red Zone years, and started to find some success lately. His run to the Super Bowl with Miles Bush won’t soon be forgotten.
Aaron has been a sneaky playoff guy for awhile now, and if it weren’t for some horrific offseason moves, he would have stayed in NFC South contention. Next year he moves to the aforementioned AFC South with JP, Tauph, and Weed – would you be surprised if he was a multi-year champion?
The ‘Sneaky Sleeper’ Tier
• 16 – Tiko
Another 1 team tier, but you’ll see why as you continue to read. The Titans were very competitive this year (outside of the blatant tank job to get Nash Townsend), and if not for the complete dominance of the conference by the Ravens, you MIGHT have seen the Titans in a Super Bowl. Tiko proved this year that the Chargers run he has wasn’t a fluke, and he was always in the mix.
Going to Oakland, inheriting his hometown roster, albeit a poor one, will light a fire in Mr. Tiko’s heart, that won’t allow him to tank or check out. He will be looked down as the third team due to the fact that Metal and Sin are above him, but his personality is a competitive one. I could see Tiko competing and finishing second, or even first here. Despite complaints, his game has always been in the top half of the league.
The ‘Maybe We Should Have Kept Rolltide’ Tier
• 15 – Ian Johns
• 14 – Malik
• 13 – Roc
The title of this tier is meant to point out the talent of these new owners, not saying that Rolltide was a better owner. These are three of the new guys we have acquired this cycle, and they’ve all brought quite a bit to the table. All three are well respected, and they have one Super Bowl appearance, and 2 NFC Championship appearances under their belt (same story, different user for Ian Johns and the Ravens).
Roc inherited a well-crafted roster from Kelly, but managed to take the next step that Kelly couldn’t, by appearing in a title game, and losing a hard-fought battle to the Ravens 7-0. His defensive prowess makes him a tough out every week. Now he heads to Baltimore with a young quarterback, and a division that doesn’t have a favorite yet.
Malik made the NFC Championship after a 15-1 campaign, but fell – despite missing the last 20 or so games, his win percentage hovers around 17th best in the league, which is why bumping him up was justified. He showed that he could draft a good team, nailing the Spellman pick, and compete every year in a tough division.
Ian Johns heads to the tough NFC East next year after a relatively successful Chiefs campaign. After the legend of TyStreak, he made a name for himself as an explosive offensive coach, but couldn’t quite get over the Ravens buzzsaw. I can’t wait to see what he does next year.
The ‘I Wish This Was a Division’ Tier
• 12 – Ramesu
• 11 – Tauph
• 10 – Cave
• 9 – Weedseed
I really, really do wish this was a division. Similar themes have plagued all four of these guys for years (Weed only lately). They are great regular season users, who struggle in the postseason. All four of these guys have struggled to make the push in the postseason, and only Weed has won a conference championship.
Ramesu has been third or fourth fiddle this cycle due to Astin, Mans, and Moji/Weed dominating the AFC playoff picture, but he is always in the mix. Built a great defense top to bottom, is always in awards conversations, and just a good guy – you’re always rooting for him! He moves to a very competitive NFC East next year, and takes control of a rebuilding Giants team, so it will be very fun to watch what he does.
Tauph and Cave are very similar, in the good regular season to poor playoff performances. Tauph struggled to compete with Astin in the AFC North, resulting in him essentially giving up winning the division, and settling for wild card spots. Same story as Tiko/Ian Johns, in getting bounced in the playoffs early and often. Cave benefited from a NFC South that was competitive, but weak at the bottom. Outside of Aaron occasionally, he had no competition in the division. Next year with Washington, he will have to continue to prove again that he competes with anyone in the league, and outside of a stinker here or there, he does.
Weed had a great run with the Bengals last cycle, but a forgettable one with Miami. No appearances in a meaningful playoff game past Round 2, and some drubbings handed to him from the Ravens. You see Weed on your schedule, and you’re always thinking about how it will be a tough out – he is a very good opponent. Can he overcome a lost cycle, and get back to relevancy in a division with Tauph, Aaron, and JP?
The ‘One Away From a Dynasty’ Tier
• 8 – Ernest
• 7 – Black Magic
• 6 – Moji
This tier is guys who seem to be falling short of winning it all every single year (and until recently for Black Magic). They seem to always have a team in front of them, a big brother they can’t get past, or continuous playoff failures – and if they could, they’d have won multiple titles this year.
Ernest has been a controversial user for years, in that the league debates where he should fall. I’ve always asserted his top ten status, and this cycle proves it. He reinvented himself, won a couple NFC North titles, and reached two NFC Championship Games. His winning percentage in the first couple seasons dilutes how great he has been the last three or four. In the NFC West next year, he is a definite favorite.
Black Magic found a formula, and ran with it. Always the center of controversy for gameplay questions, he built a team based on speed and acceleration, and jumped ahead of Sin and Metal in the NFC East as the years went along. He finally got the cherry on top with a championship in Season 44, and did so by crushing his NFC East rivals along the way. He also heads to the NFC West to compete with Ernest.
Moji always seemed to be finishing second or third in the AFC East, the toughest AFC division by far, but always shows up for games against the Jets and Dolphins. How soon we forget how dominant Moji’s Jets were at times last cycle, with his multiple title appearances – but I won’t let recency bias push him down. He is easily a top 10 user, and if not for the presence of Astin in the conference, he might have been the favorite.
The ‘No Matter What’ Tier
• 5 – Metal
• 4 – Adel
• 3 – Astin
• 2 – Mans
• 1 – Sin
I thought long and hard about how to order the final five, and I think this is very fair. Metal won the cycle’s first three championships, then became an afterthought to Astin’s Ravens. His style of play is ball dominant, he finds ways to win, and make you beat yourself. Did his style fall behind as the Giants and Redskins sped up? Probably – but he will always be a contender, year in and year out.
The Vikings won 7 out of 9 division titles so far, have a Super Bowl loss, and two NFC Championship appearances. That loss to the Ravens, if flipped, could have pushed them higher, but finishing fourth right now in cycle win percentage keeps them here. Consistency is the key with this year’s Vikings, always finding a way to stay in the mix with acquiring high amounts of draft choices, and finding the right time to ship them off to acquire more assets. In a juggernaut NFC conference, the three NFC teams in this tier traded playoff wins and losses all year long.
Astin’s Ravens will define the cycle, but he had two nemeses in the playoffs, and they both lie ahead. We have talked about this team ad nauseum; the drafting, the trading, the developing. It’s all fantastic and nearly impossible to replicate. Winning a fourth title in ten years would push him to 1, but in my personal belief, the weakness of the conference, and the roster helped mask the true struggles this team had against both Big Apple teams.
On any given Sunday, I find it hard to find two guys better than Mans and Sin. Both have a championship this year, both are savvy on both sides of the ball, and both play to a style that suits them. They don’t copy, or attempt to replicate anyone – they have a method to their madness. They make headlines every offseason with acquisitions, beat up (most of the time) on division mates, and are always able to squeak by the big dogs. Time will tell how next cycle shapes this top 5, but I feel good about this.
Please don’t be hurt, or offended of where you ended up. I put a fair amount of thought into this, and I think it’s pretty dang close. Until next time, loyal readers!