Team Draft - Who Should Everyone Take
by hcut2k4 | 8 years ago | 0 Comments
Here is who everyone should take in the team draft. Warning: it's kind of mean. I'm mostly joking, and if you're not sure, just assume I am.
1. Eikim – Cowboys
Eikim has never made the playoffs in his RedZone career. What better way than to exact revenge on his most hated rivalry than prevent them from every sniffing the playoffs.
2. Eddie - Raiders
Will all know that Eddie is going to take the Texans. But come on, he knows just as many players on the Raiders as he does the Texans; JJ Watt and Derek Carr, respectively. That’s it. This way he doesn’t have to draft a QB ever other draft and eventually trade for Carr anyway.
3. Jim - Browns
No one loves trading down in the draft more than Jim. I predict he will have all 32 first round picks by season 7 of Madden 18.
4. JP - Bengals
JP wants that 4.22 speed and Joe Mixon. He can fire the red rocket after one season and ruin a rookie QB just like he has Mariota the past 3 cycles.
5. Caveman - Patriots
We all know Cave is actually a closet Patriots fan. Jimmy Garoppolo is exactly the kind of middling QB Caveman prefers to underperform with.
6. Turtles - Jets
No one deserves to be miserable with his favorite team more than Turtles. Just let the man have this one part of his life. If the real-life Jets are going to ruin is life, he’s going to give it right back to them in Madden.
7. Aaron – Broncos
Someone needs to show Trent that it’s not him, but this team is just not setup for success in Madden. Too old and players that don’t translate to a video game. Aaron will enjoy not winning just as much as Trent has.
8. Jake - Rams
Jake deserves a full cycle of Gurley. Sure, he’ll likely suffer a career ending injury in week 1 of the first season, but at least Jake will have that hope for the next few months.
9. Corn – Chargers
This team is old enough that Corn shouldn’t be able to send off all the good young players to Moji.
10. Blueprint – Bills
The Bills play a few games in Canada, so it makes sense that the user with the worst schedule play his games in another country regularly.
11. Silk – Dolphins
Old people flock to Florida for retirement, but since Rod is an OG, he needs that night life still. Devonte Parker and Suh should fill the roles of Mike Evans and Gerald McCoy nicely for him.
12. Chris Prewitt - Eagles
As the Eagles in Madden 16, Chris was the winningest coach in the entire cycle. Granted he only played one season. None the less, he needs to keep the magic going.
13. Tauph - Texans
I want Tauph to be happy… And to experience the disappointment of Deshaun Watson first hand.
14. Nick – Packers
The Packers never sign free agents so Nick will be the most sim player possible to take over the Packers.
15. Pat - Panthers
The team that is spelled the closest to the Packers. Plus, after inheriting the dumpster fire of L2D’s Ravens, Pat will have a ton to work with, and eventually faith with, in Carolina.
16. Ramesu - Falcons
Even though the Ravens are still on the board, Ramesu needs to take the Falcons because he was at his best in Madden 16 with the best passing attack in the league behind Max Ballard of the Cleveland Browns. Matty Ice and Julio “born to score touchdowns” Jones will bring him back to his successful ways.
17. Ian – Steelers
The Steelers are the dirtiest team in the league and no one outside of Pittsburg really likes them. Sounds the perfect match for Ian.
18. Astin - Chiefs
Now that Chip Kelly is out of the league, the Chiefs run the closest thing to a college offense with the limitations of Alex Smith. Their playbook should be right up Astin’s alley. Plus, he loves trolling Aaron.
19. Adel - Seahawks
Adel showed us this cycle that he can’t win without starting with a stacked team, so he needs to go back to his most successful cycle in RedZone and dominate the league again with the Seahawks.
20. Steelers Guy - Ravens
With dozens of defensive players drafted over the past 2 seasons, the Ravens have a ton of talent ready to take Steelers Guy’s 4-4 base defense to the next level.
21. Kelly - Arizona
Robey Lauderdale in Madden 15, Rashawn McCown in Madden 16 and Bronson Wagner in Madden 17. Speed is king for Kelly. With David Johnson, rookie T.J. Logan, and all those receivers outside of Fitzgerald, Arizona is not lacking for speed.
22. Ernest - Saints
Ernest loves running the ball and they have all the running backs. After trades and picks on the o-line the past 3 season, the running game should be solid. Brees will be gone after a season or two, but Ernest is going to throw 25 interceptions with whoever is back there anyway.
23. Sin – Jaguars
Sin and Tauph seem to get along and the Jags are stacked on paper.
24. Moji – Buccaneers
Moji gets to play with his best bud. Jameis sounds like the type of QB Moji will love to hate (Carr, Bortles, Stafford).
25. VBradley – Colts
What a surprise, the most coveted team in RedZone falls all the way to VB at 25. Once VB signs all the aging WR’s in the league, Andrew Luck will be unstoppable.
26. Trent – Redskins
Two words, Kirk Cousins.
27. Metalskull – Titans
Mariota should be fun and with this run game and defense, the team is setup perfectly for Metalskull’s style of play.
28. Mans – Giants
If Mans squints really hard while Manning is dropping back, maybe it will bring him back to his Manning/Colts days. Plus, OBJ will help him forget all about TY Hilton and Donte Moncrief.
29. Weedseed - Lions
Abdullah and Stafford could be fun.
30. Black Magic – 49ers
Black Magic wants to follow Kelly or Astin and the AFC West is full. The Niners have a ton of new players, which is something, I guess.
31. Boone – Vikings
The records won’t be falling anytime soon with Sam “check down” Bradford and/or Teddy “noodle arm” Bridgewater.
32. Beech – Bears
Does anyone think this won’t be Beech’s team? Have fun with Trubisky