BetterLeague Superlatives

by Nubes | 3 years ago | 0 Comments

Most Likely to Breakout: Cloud 

Cloud is was a very solid user back in his prime and would usually win a playoff game or two. He somewhat fell off the past few years, but I think this could be the season he shows up. He won his division last year but fell short in the wildcard round. I'm interested to see if he can make some noise this year after trading henry for a big hall. His team looks very solid all around with little to no holes and I think he can make a deep run if he locks in. 

Most Likely to Disappoint: Cmass

Many of you think I'm putting Cmass here to troll since he traded me Lamar and I'm here to tell you thats not THE ONLY reason he's here. He traded a lot for Derrick Henry, who's a dawg, but cmon, he's a RB. Trading away Lamar is one thing, but trading away a 90 speed superstar pass rusher and a 97 speed WR for a RB is a very interesting move. I think Cmass is one of the best users in the league but he's going to be forced to change his playstyle up a lot and I'm not sure if he can do it in one season

Most Likely to be a 30 Year Old Virgin: Justin

I can see it already. The year is 2031. Justin is officially a 30 year old virgin who hasn't come within 5 feet of a girl that he wasn't related to. He wakes up one day furious at the world. He declares he will no longer be a virgin and he goes out to seek his prey. He ends up in Seattle. He creeps towards a large apartment building where he can hear the distant sexy screams of "DROPPED IT!" and "PUT YOUR 4S IN THE CHAT!" He sneaks into the building and eventually makes it to the 4th floor where his target awaits. He quietly picks the lock and as soon as he steps into the apartment, his nose catches the sweet sweet smell of Connor Rice. He swiftly sneaks over to his gaming chair and whispers into his ear, "Assume the position my sweet prince" Connor's eyes widen in shock. He's instantly full mast and turns towards Justin with a look of confusion mixed with lust. Connor slowly lays in his bed and undresses. Justin does the same and mounts Connor from behind. Justin begins to moan, but Connor is a bit confused. He whispers, "Is it in yet?" Justins face turns pink with embarassment as he wakes up in a cold sweat. Justin is confused on what just happened until he looks at his alarm clock and realizes he was dreaming the whole time. Justin remained a virgin until he sadly passed away. 

Most Likely to Win the Superbowl: Cody

Cody has the experience in big games and has shown to be a top 5 user in the league consistenly. He got stuck with a bad matchup last year against myself, but I think once he ends up beating me, he will get himself a ring. The combination of big game experience and skill will surely get him his 3rd ring at some point this cycle if not this season.

Most Likely to Murder Someone and Get Away With it: Jesse/Niko

Neither of these guys are technically in the league, but I wouldn't be shocked if they were able to formulate the perfect plan to hide a body. Hire these two sexy men as hitmen, and you will never hear from your target again, I guarantee that. 

Most Likely to Get Booted: WarriorMonk

I would not be shocked if this man just disappeared one day. Maybe he'll be the subject of Jesse and Nikos' murder. Idk. Stay safe monk. 

Best Bromance: Austin, Dan, Cody

It's just a big circle jerk. "Your cocks bigger!" "No your cocks bigger!!!!" 

Most Likely to Make Someone Suicidal: King

King is a 30 year old adult with a kid and somehow still manages to roast half the league all day. I am truthfully impressed and his jokes are hilarious when they aren't aimed at you.